This year so far has been the year from hell, there is no other way to put it , once more I find all my money going down the drain. Once more it is because of the actions of someone else, any wonder I have days when I just want to take a long walk off a short pier. Once again I have people ( well meaning I’m sure ) saying things like …you never know what’s round the corner.. no I don’t ,so this saying terrifies me..cannot take any more . Then they might say …things can only get better …oh really ? in who’s lifetime ? Not mine the way things are going …
Too many people do things and not for 1 minute do they stop to think what the actions they are doing will do to someone else. They do not think what it may cost the other person in time, effort,stress, expenses, they think only of what it will cost them.
It’s just as well I gave up a long time ago any thoughts of going home, no matter how much it hurts , its plain it will never happen. Not when all my money is constantly drained by what others do, try as I might , cannot find a way to stop this from happening . Either it is someone else’s actions, or robbery , or something , have lost so much money since being here it’s not funny. For those of you who have not read my other blogs please do so, they explain why I am not still working ,again, due to the actions of others.
I think if I hear I more person tell me about Karma I will cheerfully strangle them, there is no such thing , if there was it would work, it never has for me and never will as it is pure nonsense ..It is just 1 more of the things people say ,like things will come good just wait a while …yeah ? and just how long do they think I must wait ?? Like I said not in my lifetime , all that has happened to us , has been at the hands of others ,when all we wanted was to be left alone to do our thing …not possible it seems.
I wonder if the people who trot out these sayings all the time have ever known real trouble ? Ever seen things they have worked dam hard for stolen or destroyed ? Or lost a job they liked because the actions of others has ruined their health to such an extent that they can barely walk without pain ? 1 of the things people say that make me just sigh is …never mind you will feel better tomorrow …errrr how exactly? am I suddenly going to have no more pain 24/7 ? is the money that’s been stolen going to be given back ? Do these people who say these things ever think before they speak ?
So without a miracle cure, a ton of money , real help instead of abuse , there is no way I can see of ever being able to do the things we had planned . I love my family with all my heart and the thought of never seeing them again hurts like you wouldn’t believe , so please , before you trot out any of these dam sayings , think about what your saying in relation to the person you are talking to. Think about whether what you are about to say will be of any benefit to them , I will bet you right now it wont, so try not to be so trite , it hurts and is of no benefit at all to anyone , but may build resentment .
There is a lot more could be said but I wont, suffice it to say I am more than sick of these people with all these pet little sayings that mean nothing , and do nothing to help the person you say them to . I would just be really happy if people just talked normally and didn’t use them. I do try to stay happy when chatting with others , but at times the pain and stupidity of others gets to me and I just withdraw.
When I think of the dreams that bought me here , and the nightmare it has turned into , makes me wonder why ? What did I do to deserve this ? My Dr. I used to have years ago told to always keep my sense of humour , now its got to the point where that’s just not possible. He was the best Dr I have ever had, not judge mental, not money hungry , knew I only went if I had to ,knew that I always knew what was wrong with me ,and what was needed to fix it.Mostly I was right ,but not always , but we talked about it like 2 adults , not like what I have found here. I refuse point blank to go to any here now , they are just plain rude and refuse to believe what I tell them , even if they bother to listen.
Anyway please just try to think before you trot out all these sayings..you more often than not hurt the person your saying them to ….