What do we have to do to be left alone ??
Isn’t it ever enough ?
First there was all the other robberies (see blog1 ) then after a while there was my oh having his bag pinched out of the van he was driving . Now this….( this is written in pure anger ,I will admit it )
We are struggling along with everyone else to survive ,all we mostly have is my pension to live on . Once in a while tho he gets a day here and there of driving work , and he was driving as usual today ,stopped did his delivery,walked back to the van. Where he was jumped on by 2 thugs ,early 20’s ,who attacked him and stole his new Blackberry, didn’t get his wallet as he was able to fight them off…but he and I are very shaken by this.
I cannot believe why we keep getting singled out ,we try to keep to ourselves,do the right thing by people and this is what we get ?? Someone please tell me what we have to do for them to leave us alone . All we want, all we have ever wanted, and the reason I came here ,is to get married and go back to Australia to live. We were right on track for 14 months , then the rot set in, neither of us has done a thing wrong so are staggered by yet another blow. I gave up drinking some time ago ,had been cutting back for a long time , but recently stopped altogether .I can tell you now I have a triple strength rum here , am so shaken up by all this , he has now just had a sandwich and gone back to the police station . Have no idea how long he will be , but will worry till hes back here .
Every time we even look as tho things are finally going the right way for us , the actions of others bring us right back down .People these days are so dam self centered they do not care 1 bit that what they do might cost others dearly. We have lost this entire year of getting things together 1 way or another . Now yet again ,we have to start again , we are trying to get an exchange on this place but it is going so slow its painful. We would have been married and back in Australia at least 2 years ago had we been left alone.
I have not been this angry in a very long time , am supposed to be looking after myself , but how can I ?? I actually have a headache right now that I know full well is because of all this , and people wonder why i never go out unless I have to. I am also crying writing this , just do not know what to do, whatever we do its wrong ..have never felt so lost in all my life , never had this much shit thrown at me in all my life , well once i was old enough to leave home. Never before have I been at such a total loss as to how to proceed now , have always been able to work out what to do , not now, now I am angry , hurt, confused ..
I freely admit this is a rant , but also feel I have the right to , we do not deserve this , we do not want this ,what do we have to do ??
They say home is where the heart is , and in my case ,especially now it has never had more meaning for me , miss my family more and more every time something like this happens . I know that we are not alone, that things like this happens ,but why so many times?
To say I just want to go home is a huge understatement , but how ? we can’t even get out of here , so what hope do we have of doing what we want ? Of making our dream come true ??