Chaos ….

Talk about chaos  and the mind going off in a mad tangent  , this happened to me this last week when all of a sudden 1 day  to my horror I found this big lump in my left breast . Though  I always try very hard not to jump to conclusions … might hurt myself doing that  .. well anyway though  I have once before had a sebaceous  cyst  in the same place  I reasoned that it was another  1 the same  . Try as  I might though my mind went into chaos mode and all it could think of was cancer , as this was the second time I had one of these in the same place . When  I could tell my mind to stop for a minute and think I realised that it would most likely be another cyst   and cancer for the most part is hereditary  I really had nothing to worry about too much. If it was just a cyst as  I  suspected it would go away all by its self , as did the last 1 I had  had  years ago.

Well it was not quite that either as within 24 hours it had swollen to twice the size , was red  raw almost and the pain coming from it was intense. Time to get the doctor  , so we called   up a doctor  , one that comes to you as my doctor was off  duty this being  a Saturday . When he got there and after having a look said it was a bacterial infection , when I asked how did this happen he said  and  I quote  ” just bad luck ” sheesh sums it up for me really at times, if it wasn’t for bad luck wouldn’t have any  ..  Anyway he gave me some really strong  antibiotics  and said  to use those and painkillers  which  I have been doing  since  , and will have a follow up visit to my own doctor  this week. All is  going well and exactly as the other doctor had said it would , at least  I know it was not my fault , it was nothing  I had done or not done that caused it. Have since  also now heard of others that have had this , or know someone who has .

Seeing what happened to me and the instant chaos it caused in my mind and even no matter how much  I tried not to let it  , I could not stop it . So it makes me wonder how other people handle chaos , what do others do when confronted with something  so out of left  field like that , so unexpected, how do others control the chaos in their minds ? I mean it may not be a health scare it  could be anything  how do others handle such sudden  shocks  ? Like me trying to shut my mind up from its racing off on the 1 tangent  I did not want to think of  ? Almost going crazy with the effort  ? Until I actually saw the doctor and got the truth of what was going on  I was a basket case . Once  I knew what  was going on , I was fine  it  did not make the pain any less but at least  I  had peace of mind and the chaos was stilled .It is now healing up slowly but surely just as he said it would.

How many times  do we get chaos  drop into our lives  ? If we do how do we handle it ? I admit I failed in trying to control the chaos in my mind , but would suppose that others can handle things  like that better than  I did . Makes you wonder really that  with all we know and all the science we have at our disposal now  how many others do what  I did ? Just because all this lovely science is there it does not mean that it will be able to solve whatever the chaos  that has dropped into our laps . We all re- act differently  I know  but to me it proves that even though  I know that these days science can fix almost anything I still don’t trust it 100% .

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who can’t take care of himself… 


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