You Can Not Go Back

You can not go back , to places and times, and expect them to be the same as they were before , things change , people change , if they did not it would be awful really as  I found out , found out the hard way .

We recently went on holidays to Victoria , the place  I was born and the place where  I had many ,many memories  , I went back for several reasons , 1 to see family , 2 to see places  from my past , and places hubby had never been to at all , 3 to lay some ghosts to rest . It was a trip a long time in the planning as it was hard to get hubby away from work , but when that was achieved we set off , flying down  to get started on a trip that was also a real break for us as it had been a while . Was so good to land there and again be  with family we had not seen for sometime, thankfully places like Faceache and  Twitter and  E Mail  does keep us in touch but it is not the same as being with them .

The main reason I wanted to go back was to re-live in a way some of my past , to see if what I had known all those years was either still there or changed . A lot of it was still there but changed so much  they were to me unrecognisable , 1 place , a coffee shop was so changed I do not care if  I never go there again , and it used to be my favourite coffee shop . The owners  I had known and had a great relationship with had long gone , sadly having lost it all to gambling . Other places were gone altogether , only 1 place remained exactly as  I remember it  though the staff  I used to know were long  gone . To walk down the streets of places you have not been to for many , many years is creepy to say the least , especially as it all just looks  un-real  with nothing being  anything like what you thought it should still look like . If like me you have  this silly idea that maybe enough of it would be the same that it would feel like you had never even left , then the reality hits and you know  it has changed and will keep changing that this place will never ,ever be the same as you remember it  , so no good to think like that anymore , and it is best too I think now that it does keep changing , just hope it is all for the best .

Going back after all this time , roughly about 30 years and more since  I had last been there is as  I said erie , felt so weird , like something out of a horror movie , and the more  I walked and looked the worse it seemed . It was not only the places but also the people who had changed , some long  ago  having left to go elsewhere . Going back it might  seem funny but  somehow I kind of thought all those people  I had known would  still be there , why I thought this I do not know  but  in the back of my mind I half expected it to still be much the same as before . Silly really when you realise I had been away so many years , travelled so far , why on earth did I think it would be the same  ? A reluctance to let go of what you had held as happy memories , or memories that you just need to  put to rest for once and for all to be free of them.

So  why this almost unreasonable urge to back ? To go back in time as it were  ? For me best  I can think of it was to see if  it really was gone or changed or still the same ? There are so very many memories  for me back there  , some very good , some very , very bad , and  I guess  I just needed to know the bad were really gone and to be able to say that is now the end , and close the book on it and move on. Also to see or find out if the people  I had known and thought of as friends  were still the same and would still think of me as a friend , sadly though some said they were really happy to be going to meet up with me again , never lived up to it and I saw none of them. Some family too has changed , and not in a way I like , that too is very sad , but that too will be left in the past .

So all in all the trip was ( for me especially )  a closing of a chapter , a chapter in my life that was over and done with , the book is now firmly closed and  I will move on even though some of what  I found out hurt , that too is done with . I had , had this overwhelming  desire , almost overwhelming  for me to need to go live back in Victoria , as this was where I had been born and bought up , now that desire is dead , and I will just look forward to a new life with my lovely hubby  and the past can stay there , in the past , it will no longer be allowed to hurt me , will not worry me at all if  I never go back there , am more than happy to just stay here . Things are better here now than they had ever been in Victoria  so now that , that need is sorted and gone it will be best for us both.

 

So it seems that the saying  ” you can never go back  ” has been proved 100%  by me and as far as  I am concerned  that saying is all too true . As far as I can tell there is very little , if any good to come from going back , to the  past life or people or places , if you do you will not find what you think you might , and what you do find has a good chance of hurting you , so as they say  do not go back . I feel so much better for having been there and done that and am happy to leave it in the past …

I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn’t reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high.

 

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Holidays/ Holidaze

Holidays that wonderful time of the year when finally you can forget work and spend time with family , the time you have waited all year for , the time to get away for a while to concentrate on yourself and your  loved ones instead of work. The year  seems to go so slowly sometimes for some , but for others  it takes ages  to make them see they do need to take a break , lol , took  over 2 years to get hubby to realise he needed to take a break ( sorry dear ) so finally we got some time together . Finally time for me to realise  I did actually have a hubby and was not imagining  it  all, finally a time to not have to be just talking to myself instead  lol , get sick of  expert advice ….

So a great time off down south to see family and friends , and see places hubby still had not had a chance to see for himself , for example  the  MCG he had seen it before but not done the tour , so this time he did the tour  and loved it as he had heard a lot about it but we had not had time to go there for him to do it . So 1 more  thing done in a list of things we wanted to do , and people we wanted to see , and places we wanted to go to . As hubby follows the same football team as me ( real footy too not soccer or rugby )  the headquarters of the club was a must see and a small souvenir  bought . Walking round the home town of our footy team and  seeing  the place again after a long time was also good for me as  I too had not been there in a long time . Also visited the town where all my children were born and  he had never been to before , had a great time  meeting family  we had not seen for ages , having a family lunch etc. The 1 thing  I do know is that after all the time it had been since  I was last there it had changed a lot , too much for my liking .

Then off to yet another town from the past for a look see and to catch up with more family , stay with  son and his wife and the children , 1 a real little whirling dervish , lol , boy  the energy she has is amazing  she wore me out in 5 mins flat , glad  I can escape lol , have no idea where she gets all that energy from but boy  it should be bottled .  Was lovely to spend the time with them  after again not seeing them for quite some time  , and to see again the town they live in after a long time . Amazing how much the kids have grown , sure makes me feel old , lol,  but they are sure doing well , but the town there too had changed a lot, and hubby got to see a historic town as well another place he had not been to before , so it was well worth the time there .

Holidaze…… This is the time when it all screeches to a halt , when you finally get home , start to unwind from all the fun and start the process of getting back into work mode . Time  to make sure all is set for the return to work , mostly all done in a daze as you really do not want to go back to work. Do not want to go back to work because after finally taking the  break  you now realise there is life outside  work and also some family . All this time no matter how long  it has been between breaks  you seem to forget there is life outside work , all you think about is work, colleagues , getting to and from work , and making sure all the bills are paid , and once back at work  you  slip back into work mode and then the holidaze finally recedes  into the back ground for another year … or 2  ..

So whether  it is holiday time or holidaze time it all makes  life interesting   and it can be awfully boring for you and your family without this experience  so we all need it to keep sharp and appreciate the time we do have together and the fun we have at those times . Fingers crossed here that it will not be so long until  our next break  we had such a good time , and it was so lovely to have hubby around for more than 5 mins. at a time , got used again to having someone else to talk to . Now have to go back to the routine of work , home, work, home etc, and  I go back to yelling at the  TV or talking to myself  lol , here we go again , till next time * sigh * oh well such is life  at least he has a job , and 1 that he loves so we are not complaining at all . Just very happy he has such a good job and we have our love to support each other , it all  works  very well even if it does get a bit stressful at times it is all good  .

Holiday time is a time we all usually look forward to  and really so we should  as we all need time to be with friends or family  or just to be alone , whatever way we choose to spend our holidays it is very good for us to have this break . Think about what  it would  be like if we never had a holiday , never took a  break  , how much things around us would change and we would never  even notice . That would not be good at all because even tho  we may not notice what’s going on around us it all impinges on us anyway so it is way better to try and keep up , even if we  do not really want to , this is where the holiday comes in to use as catch up as well .

Whoever said, “All men are created equal”, obviously has never been to a nude beach!!

Dreams ..

Dreams … Now right here I am not talking about the dreams we have for ourselves , our lives, our families  lives , this time  I am talking about he dreams we have at night when we are supposed to be sleeping .  Those times when for no real reason we wake up partly  and wonder what  woke us  as whatever it was did not really  wake us all the way up  just enough to disturb our sleep. In the morning we wonder what happened but do not much worry about it  as we still got enough sleep . These little annoying dreams are the most common and occur the most  but as such are not to be worried about  .. as usually we do not  even remember them they  make so little impression on our brain  we cannot even recall them so no need to worry about it  .

The dreams that do worry us are the ones  that seem so real , seem to last for a long time and when we wake up we can even remember all of them . Some of this type of dream can really unsettle us and make us  worry  and wonder  what it all means . Some of  these dreams too can repeat over and over , some can even scare us silly and  wonder what we did wrong to cause this to happen ,and can give us a very guilty conscience,  can even cause us not to be able to get back to sleep . Some are so lovely  and peaceful and make us want to get up and go  , or to have whatever it was we were dreaming of  practical or not . Some are of people or places or things we want or have or places we want to go to or places we have been .

So why does this happen ? If you believe all the nonsense it is all meant to tell us something , things we should be doing, or scared of , or places we should go to . The truth is they are nothing more than the fantasies of an overactive brain  and a life too busy  to give the brain enough exercise  , so when you try to sleep it  goes off on a tangent because it has not done enough that day . Also it just means  that  you need to give it more to do , maybe more reading  , more talking to people , more things like that , maybe some games that challenge it . Sometimes it just means it is bored and wants more to do  , it is nothing to be scared of just means you need to change a few things to keep it busy . It is like every part of the body use it or lose it  , it will get lazy . After all the brain is just another muscle that needs to be exercised so it stays fresh and alert , it like all the other muscles gets lazy when not used  enough , and the brain is the most underused muscle  in the human body , and it controls all of the body , enough for us to need to keep it fit  .

The 1 thing it is not  is a warning of any kind , never ever believe these charlatans that make money out of their so called  ” interpretations ”  like all these so called psychics   who say they can read your future , they are nothing more than an over active brain that wants more to occupy it . Those people are nothing but leeches taking money from gullible people , they can no more see the future than I can  walk on the moon , they are all lies and meant only to make money out of the gullible . That industry now is so big it is  amazing , that and those who ” read ” star signs that too is another  industry designed to rip off the gullible  and it too works  way too well as people these days will believe anything these charlatans  tell them. This alone tells us how far down the human race has gone that they are even willing to listen to these crooks much less pay them for the privilege , it is just wrong and crazy .

So if you dream a lot or a little  just realise your brain is trying to tell you it would like a bit more use please , and do not go off looking for ” interpretations ” you do not need them you only need to give it enough work while you’re awake and it will be fine , no need to waste money or scare yourself with these charlatans and what rubbish they tell you  so save your money and be happy  . When you think of how many of these people there are and how much they make that alone should tell you how many they are ripping off and should warn you . If they really  could see the future then why are they still working  ? why do they still get killed ? or sick ? or robbed ? surely they know what’s going to happen and can protect themselves  ? Why also are they not  millionaires  ? Most of them  have not a lot more money than you or  I have  so why  ? If they know the future  ? makes no sense whatever .

So have  fun with your dreams , do not let them get to you , they mean only you need to exercise your  brain more , if everyone did this the world would be a better place and we would be a lot better off  in every way ….. so dream on without fear ….

Remember that without stupidity there wouldn’t be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn’t be beauty, so the world needs you after all. -.

Cuddles

Cuddles  …. I just love cuddles and find it so very relaxing to be in the arms of someone who wants you to be there and shares the same liking of cuddles . I find a cuddle is a great way of relaxing  , of feeling safe  , of feeling loved , there is nothing as nice as falling asleep in the arms of someone who loves you as you know that you are both safe and loved . I am so lucky  as  I can do this most nights , depending on hubbys work shifts , and just treasure those nights , and waking up in the morning to  more cuddles .

Science has now proved  over and over again that cuddling is so good for you  , it releases tension and prolongs life they now say . Always suspected that it had  good benefits but now it seems that  I was right all the time , lol makes a nice change to be right . It also lifts your mood and your spirits  to start or end the day with a nice cuddle from someone who actually  wants to be there doing it . During the day too for no reason other than  you both want to is also a good time for a cuddle , in fact  I cannot think of a single time when it is not good to have a cuddle  , errrmmm except maybe in the middle of a supermarket  , or a shopping center lol think there might just be 1 or 2 places you should not cuddle but there are not too many thankfully  .

It is almost as much fun being jumped on and cuddled by a 6 1/2 year old  who loves  you and has been waiting for you to get there  , lol even if said 6 1/2  year old never stops bouncing or talking for more than 10 seconds at a time . At least you know that for those few mins  she is quiet as she wants to cuddle you so she must sit still to get the cuddle . Those sorts of cuddles  from children and grand children etc. are so very special , given out of love and wanting to  give them to you .All you need is to be braced and warned in advance lol as it gets quite bouncy with some little ones who have no idea of pain ( thankfully ) and do not realise in their exuberance they might hurt you , so being ready is good it helps a lot  . ( trust me  ) lol

Cuddles when meeting someone you have not  seen for ages ,  either family or friends it all feels the same if it has been a long enough time since you met . A cuddle to say hello is so relaxing and  makes you feel good to see these people again  and hopefully they feel the same way and return the cuddle with the same feeling you do . You can always see this type of cuddle at airports and bus depots and such as  people getting off trains and planes see the ones they have come to visit and the smile that lights up the face  soon shows how they feel and then comes the cuddle , feels so good  .

It is a pity  that cuddling is not something you can make compulsory but yes  I know something  that is forced is not the same  , but it would be so nice if people cuddled more and fought less , world would be a much better place then . More cuddles less fighting , sounds good to me  just wish there was a way it could be made to happen more  as  I am a very cuddly person and thankfully hubby is the same so we have lots of cuddles and  always feel better for it . I find too starting a day with a nice cuddle puts my mind in a nice place to deal with whatever the day brings, and if there is something bad  to cope with , once again a cuddle helps so much to ease the pain.

There are times especially when a cuddle cures a thousand ills , like when a little 1 falls and  scrapes a knee along with a band aid a good cuddle sure helps . Even watching a sad movie  is better when sitting cuddling someone  makes the sad  bits  that little easier to take  , and  it all feels so much better . Wouldnt it be nice if you could have cuddles prescribed by the doctor and you could get them when you really need 1  ? Not everyone is as lucky as  I am  and cannot get a cuddle when they need 1 so if this could be done it would help so many a lot  .

I am not saying for 1 minute that a cuddle is the cure for everything but boy it sure helps  and sure makes you feel better , we need more people to resort to cuddles  rather than violence  even that would make  a huge difference  in the world . I know  I am dreaming here  but you cant be had for wanting things to change  for the better now can you ? If you can then it really is a sad and sorry world we live in  , and it sure does seem like it is heading that  way at a  rate of  knots and that makes me so sad  ..

I’m trying to kick dairy and now I’ve got the milk shakes.