Archive | April 2015

My Day

My Day ….This is a different type of blog today , it is by request as a lot know that I have a lot of pain  in my body 24/7  and asked me to do 1 about my day to hopefully help others to cope  . My body is broken and damaged in many places  , not  done by me but by others but is in no way a poor me blog. I have said this to start so no one thinks it is just a self pity blog  , I am not now and never will be into self pity . So this will be about how I cope and  how I get through each 24 hours , with a hope that something in this blog may help someone somewhere .

First then I will start from when I go to bed , if I am very lucky I will get 4 hours sleep before the pain wakes me , then I will get up go to the loo then go back and try to sleep again  , with a bit  of luck I may get another hour maybe 2 of sleep but that does not usually happen . So on waking up , or deciding I have had enough time  trying to sleep it is time to get up  , this is the start of the fun for the day , 1st  I have to be able to stand upright and  not fall over as my balance is always off centre , owing to damage to the left ear and left eye and severe tinnitus , so this hurdle accomplished  it is off to the kitchen to get coffee for us  if hubby is home, he does shift work so our times together  are always variable . Then once coffee is made , it is off to the computer for hopefully some distraction from pain, as in just making the coffee and getting to sit here the pain level has  been going up. Walking  and standing in 1 place to do anything is now very painful , so am glad to sit for a while while I drink my coffee. Love sitting here chatting and joking with people  as it does distract a little bit from the pain  , and anything that does that is fine by me. Even sitting now though has also become painful and there is no 1 thing I can do for long  , I have to keep moving about  to change the position  of and strength of the pain.

So after coffee there are the chores  to be done , no matter what shift hubby is on they still need doing , washing , cleaning, dishes, cooking,  etc, all take time  , but as  I can no longer do these as quickly as  I used to it takes a while  to get it all done.  Some times I can not  do something in 1 hit as  I used to, I have to sit and rest  to take the edge off the pain  before completing the job in hand , when  I think of how quick I used to be doing these things it hurts to be like this now , but at least I can still do them and that’s a bonus. When all are finally done for the day then I will try to rest and  usually watch TV  or DVD’s or read just something to try and distract me . I will not stop or relax though  no matter what hubby tells me  ( sorry dear ) until all chores are finished , get them done and then relax is my motto .

During this time , and doing all this  and even without going out anywhere  my pain by now is right off the scale  but  I will not give into it will never give into it  , as  I always say to hubby to his disgust , lol, it is only pain dear , he hates that because he hates to see me in pain  and  I love him for it  but the chores need doing and he has enough to do  with his job without  doing my chores too . By now  also quite  often I am crying with the pain , as  I have never been able to find a pain killer that works for me without violent repercussions  so I take nothing at all , only thing  I do is cry at times , it does not help the pain but it does take some pressure off . So chores are a mix of sitting down , doing more, and crying but it all gets done as it should . Hubby being the wonderful man he is does try to do some of them so I  cant , so as to save me some pain .

The 1 thing  I am most happy about is that no one can see me when  I cry , they might be laughing and joking  with me at the time but they do not see me cry , and  thankfully hubby does not see this either as I have become master of hiding how  I really am he has enough to do without me worrying him . I get through each day , do what  I must , and look after him  that is all that matters to me , but by the time  I have got to the point of going to bed again I am exhausted not so much by the chores but by coping with pain it does tire you out. Some days  i do not go out at all if the humidity is too high as it  sends my balance crazy and it is not safe for me to go alone . Sometimes when it is ok though I will go to Westfield  and then stop by the pub on the way home as it is so nice to have someone to talk to for a while , as I do spend many hours alone  and really get sick of my own company , and the people there are on the whole lovely people and have no idea about my pain.

The 1 and only thing that has kept me going even though there seems to be no end to the pain , is as I mentioned before in another blog is my undying love for  God , he showed me many years ago that he loved me and  I know he still does , so him and all the love of family and friends keep me going . Even though just putting 1 foot in front of the other hurts with a pain that brings tears to my eyes , the love that  I have , and also the  will to never let it beat me  is what keeps me going  , and  I have faith that it will always do so . It is very hard some days to keep going  when the pain is so high  but all i have to do is remember what keeps me going , and that helps me to  keep putting that 1 foot in front of the other and to never never give up . So to anyone else in constant pain , even though it is so very hard , find something or someone to put your faith and trust  in and never give up , if  I can do it through my tears  and through my  pain then you can too , just say to yourself it is only pain , and  I can do this  I am strong enough .. I do it every day and it still works for me  . …Every day is a challenge and you can win that day …

I told my family that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle…So, they got up, unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine….

This entry was posted on April 29, 2015. 1 Comment


Money  …….  It makes the world go round so we are indoctrinated with from the cradle  , if we do not have it we get in trouble , it rules the world more effectively than any government  ever could as no single society  can manage it’s affairs without money . They can not build the infrastructure their society needs , they cannot  provide the services they need , in short they can do nothing without money.  It is not the money so much as how it is used , who benefits from the expenditure and who gets hurt by it , the system that has developed now in the whole world has it that the few rich countries rule the rest , and that to me is just not right . Instead of helping the poorer countries to help them selves to build up their economy and get themselves in a better financial position  , they prefer to just  ” lend  ” them money and charge them exorbitant  interest fees for the privilege . The lure of all the money and of being in such a dominant position is too much for the rich countries , they get off on the power that it gives them .It is all too easy for them to just print more money to keep themselves in the top spot .

Even The Bible says The Love of Money is the root of all evil , please note the phrase  The Love Of … that is so true it is not funny , these super rich countries will do anything to have even more money , never mind if it hurts other countries or other people , as long as they are in charge that is all that counts to them . They have no thought  to the repercussions of what they do , all that matters is the money and the more the merrier . Why else would they maneuver countries or people to agree to terms and conditions  that when looked at closely are just impossible , but as they have the upper hand because they have all the money they force very effectively people and countries to sign away their very lives just to get what they need . Then when payment time  hits they ruthlessly demand payment with little or no regard to the circumstances  of the ones who have to pay it back .

They just take what they are owed and if there is a shortfall think nothing of foreclosing , taking everything that people or countries have  just to get maybe a few $$$$  that may not have as yet been paid back , it must be paid right on the dot or  everything is lost , no time limit extensions , no nothing just foreclosure . They will not  often give them even a couple of days  over the time limit  to get the few  $$$  that are still owed , it wont matter to them that its only a few $$$$  and they just need a few days  they will take everything right then , have seen this  myself in real life , they are heartless all that matters is the money . Money as  I said to almost all people these days is the only thing  that anyone wants , and that the rich have in abundance but will not share or help anyone with , most rich people are very selfish.The rich get rich and the poor get poorer  and never the twain shall  meet .

So right from the womb almost we are told , you must get an education  so you can get a job , so you can earn lots of money , all you really need in life is money . So with that thought is it any wonder the crime rate is so high ? When  right from the start we are told ” make money ..make money ”  nothing else matters you need nothing else in life. We are told don’t bother  with love or friendship or looking after others  as that will just cost you money and you have to keep it all for yourselves . Also whatever you do don’t get married  , that will cost you even more money and if you want to be rich that will not help. To be rich …sad but true  that is about all people aspire to these days , nothing else matters and too many  will do almost anything to get that money   that is what matters most to them. Way too many will however do whatever it takes to make money , legal or not , only the money matters .

Why else do such things as gambling , game shows  offering money , or any other such ” get rich quick ” schemes  do so well ? People will do anything to get more money as  I said  so will try all these things and more  never realising that the odds against winning anything  from any of these is astronomical  in the billions to 1 , yet they still try it all its just so sad to see the desperation . Rather than try to work out a better  way to get what they need as in change of lifestyle or helping others , or  doing more for themselves  they still try these things . Them when it all comes crashing down on them  the aftermath is awful , they blame others , for what they did not think through themselves .

So we have become a world full of people that  are greedy , selfish , too quick to try  the get rich schemes , rather than a caring people that care not for themselves so much  , but rather help where they can . We as a people seem to have forgotten the simple principle of , if we help others we in turn can get help if we need it , as they say , you scratch my back and  I’ll scratch yours  , its said in fun but is actually very true . Too many have been hurt by the  I ,I, I, society  and all they focus on is themselves . I  fear it is way too late now  to change things money has taken over as the number 1 God  of this world and I cannot see that ever changing  more is the pity . There is nothing it seems that you cannot do these days if you have enough money , forget principles , forget caring just go for the money ..

I have taken myself hostage. If you ever want to see me again, send me one hundred dollars….

This entry was posted on April 22, 2015. 1 Comment

Characters in Pubs

Characters in  pubs …….. For all of us who have ever been to a pub  you know as well as  I how many characters there can be in them , so many different people , so many different stories . Have you ever wondered why a person goes to a pub ? My guess is that  almost all people would answer this with , because they are alcoholics , to a point this maybe  true , but  things these days are so different you really can no longer say that . The pubs themselves are so vastly different now that they are almost unrecognisable  from the places they once were . In those times it really was just a place to go to get your alcohol  wants and not a lot more , but now you can get meals , play games , bet ( not a good thing  ) but you can and  gamble also with the games  , that is not really a good thing but it is a fact of life  now .

So to the characters , 1st there are the usual ones who do just come in for a drink and not much else  ,2nd , then there are  the ones who come in for a meal as well , and lets face it the meals these days are so cheap and so nice it  is nice to be able to sit and have a meal you did not have to cook , nor do you have to clean up after  . The meals these days when you sit and work out the costs , are so much cheaper to have there than if you bought the ingredients, cooked it, then cleaned up after, would cost you lots more to do at home. 3rd. then are the people who come in just for company , who  are mostly alone  and get a bit sick of talking to themselves , so a nice couple of drinks and maybe a meal , and company  is all they want  . 4th . then there are those that come in just for the  card tournaments , all they want is to play cards , have a few drinks , a chat , and try to win . There are quite a lot of these as a lot just love to play cards against others to see how good they are , or if they need to  get better at it .

5th . then are those that come in just for the  Karaoke  ( yikes ) we know 1 such errrr I shudder to call him a gentleman as the noise that he makes is almost unbearable , but mostly those that sing are not too bad at all , and depending on the host of the night , lol, could make a comment here about this but will be good  ( yes  I can be good  ) lol so there 😛 , some of the  people that sing also are just fantastic 1 man  sang opera and was so good he almost bought the house down, a brilliant singer  he should be on stage .  6th . then are those that just come to meet up with friends after work  that they cannot meet anywhere else much and the pub is the best meet up place . They have been working all week and long to relax , so head to the pub  to meet friends , have meals, have a few drinks , making a very enjoyable time for all . It makes a long working week with all the stresses seem worth it after all, a good place to let off built up stresses .

7th. then , and I must admit that there are some people who abuse this  by  not buying even 1 drink or anything , I for 1 would not allow it , if you’re in a pub at least you get 1 drink or something.  Having  said that what  I am referring to is the sports  , that are usually shown on the big screens , some people have no access to  some of the big sports  any other way so go to the pub to see them. You can get boxing , cricket , football , soccer, rugby , you name it  you can see it on the big screens mostly , combine that with a drink or 3 and  maybe a meal and again a very relaxing time .

So all in all whatever you may think about pubs , they do have a very good use for those who  cannot always be in touch with all these things , and not everyone, in fact at the pub we go to mostly, hardly ever  do you see any drunken behaviour , as the security and the way the place is run  seems to make this  not very likely . Most people now seem to see it as just a meeting place to catch up and relax a while . 8th, then are those who come in for lunch and a few drinks between shifts , usually just a lunch and maybe 2 beers , makes the rest of the working day a little more relaxed . So forget  what you think you know , and just try it, its more than just a place to get drunk now , it is  way more than that , and these changes  are mostly all for the  good , as most people we see  control them selves quite nicely , and do just have a few then  go home. So try it and if you still do not like it then no harm done and you need not go back  , just do not judge before you  have tried it.

I remember when I was a child  I was dragged to the pub when my father wanted a drink , shoved in a corner with a soft drink , and forgotten for hours while he boozed on . Thankfully this sort of thing  mostly does not or cannot happen now , people have got a bit more sense and pubs are run way more efficiently  than in those bad old days . I know how much  I hated it  but was given no choice in the matter , so can well and truly see  how much the pub scene has changed over the years .I would be the 1st  to say not all changes are good  but in this case  I think they are , it is all in the way you handle  yourself , not the place , do not blame the place till you know for yourself.

Mary, mary quite contrary, watched her garden thrive. The cops found seed of a very odd weed; Now she’s doing three to five.

This entry was posted on April 15, 2015. 1 Comment

Junk Mail

Junk Mail  …. That annoying pile of coloured paper that seems to materialise from nowhere  when you least expect it or want it . Everyone on the planet almost is affected  by this stuff  , and if you try to ignore it hoping it will go away  , hey presto ! next time you gird your loins to look again , yep it has multiplied !! Funny that usually you ignore something it goes away or in this case blows away but that  is a rare case  dammit , wish it would happen more often. Also if you notice you never ever get just 1 or 2 bits of junk mail  you get heaps , lol, best count  I had 1 day was 15 !! Can you imagine it  ? To be fair tho if I have to it  was  a holiday season  so to be expected  ( unfortunately )  usually it is about 6 or  so but that can be a couple of times a week at some times of the year . What we need is a way to stop the stuff breeding in the letterbox!!

While I realise a lot of people make money out of delivering this stuff , and very good luck to them for it, that does not stop it being a bloody nuisance to those who cop loads of it  through their letter boxes . They do not have to have it I suppose but just think about it for a minute , you stop the junk mail , then find out a few weeks later that something you really wanted or needed  came up on special that would have  saved you lots of $$$  but you missed it because it was in the junk mail you decided not to have anymore ?? Just how mad would that make you ? lol  So to junk mail or not to junk mail , that is the 50 million dollar question right there , is it worth all the hassles of getting rid of it just so maybe 1 day something you want or need will come up on special ? Or do you bite the bullet so to speak say , right no more for me then just hope your thing or things does not come up on a special that you need the junk mail pamphlet to claim ?  lol  yes or no , yes or no … ad infinitum ….

So we  do or do not like the junk mail but if by chance you know there is some in your letterbox  then come home after leaving it there till you come home , only to find * shock horror * someone has nicked it  !! oh the outrage * the anger  * that was  MY  junk mail * how dare you ?  lol Me personally would be quite happy to be free of it for 1 time but you would be surprised how many people actually look forward to getting it  … sad aint it  ?  lol  Yes  I have heard of these people they wait each week to get it for either  of 2 reasons  , 1. it is all the mail they get or 2. they wait to see what is on special so they can  add that to the shop for that week . So if that is the reasons people like to get it then fair enough , especially if you are watching out for a certain thing to come up , and when it does makes you glad you had the junk mail to tell you now is the time . So here we go round the  Mulberry Bush all over again , to junk mail or not to junk mail  ?? lol Great aint it  ? Dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t  …..what a quandry …

So much of it comes your  way makes you wonder how much it costs for them to produce it , and by so much  in quantity  , if it is worth it  ? Obviously it must be as they  do produce it by the ton , surely there is a better way in this electronic age ? Do they ever stop to think of all the trees that it uses or the energy wasted  on something that most people  hate anyway ? Just look at the bins on any bin day and most of the recycle bins are  loaded with junk mail  , gives you a small idea of just how much of this stuff there is ,feels like you are drowning in it sometimes  I swear . You can almost work the answer out right here , yes they know all this but because money is the great  God of this world they keep on producing it because yes it is worth it to them to and nothing  will change that .

So unless we somehow find a better way we better just , suck it up as they say and put up with it , but hey , who knows 1 day it might produce  something you really want or need , lol , but do not under any circumstances hold your breath , blue does not suit you , trust me on this  , lol ..  Also your partner might not quite like to find you like this … mind you  I wonder how many shades of blue you would turn  holding your breath  50 ? lol 🙂

I dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. It’s not a beautiful poem, but it’s very deep…


This entry was posted on April 8, 2015. 1 Comment