Archive | June 2016

Penguins

Penguins ….. Stop and think about these for a minute , upright little things who think the world should bow to them , and don’t they go nuts if you get in their way ? Funny little things that walk about  or is that strut about ? in their tuxedos  looking like they should be at a ball or something  , but they definitely  think you should get out of the way when they want to go somewhere  . They get quite hot under the collar or is that beak  ? lol  if you do not move out of their way  they might just start flapping those little wings at you and squarking  at you as well so best to get out of the way . Of course if you happen to just have some fish in your pocket then that’s ok you can bribe them  they are so easily bribed and then become real little sooks  , so unless you have fish , get out of the way  lol .

They are also lazy little sods  lying about  as much as they can waiting to see if fish will magically  land at their feet  and if that does not happen then they go fishing  , but they wait till all else fails  , lol, don’t blame em either  as who wouldn’t like all their meals brought to them ? I know  I would like it  lol  but only for a while as being lazy is just not me , dammit should have been born a penguin  then I wouldn’t have to do anything  but the bare minimum  to get by , pity that  lol. So all in all they are basically cheeky little sods with a huge attitude  even the smallest of them has attitude to match the size of the big ones  and the big ones ? lol just dont ever annoy them  unless you have a death wish or similar  and really  why would you ?

Penguins  come in all shapes and sizes and intelligence ( just like us lol )  some even  are a tiny bit smarter than the others , as  I know 1 that has even got a faceache  account and also a twitter account   and he knows how to use them !! lol  You should see it when he goes off on a rant or something , it is so funny to watch , maybe he just needs more fish , someone get him some please ? pretty please with sugar on top ? Can’t have an upset penguin on a rant now can we  ? lol it is not safe ..trust me  * giggles * Must admit I have had many a good giggle just watching this penguin in action on a rant in twitter  distracts me all the time from what I’m trying to  do  ( bloody penguins lol ) ..someone should take away his internet ….just for a while  till he calms  down  …lol  * smooch pengy *

This penguin  also loves to go into London with other  twits  to party , lol, know this because we have been to some of these and they are so much fun , also this penguin  is a bit weird , lol only a bit  ? but anyway is a really lovely penguin and is a lot  of fun if you can tear him off twitter where he seems to be a lot of the time , then it is time to party and always end the night with a good curry , only way to end a great night out , lol well we always did  we love our curries . Penguins can , well this 1 can   party very well and can even be seen in the middle of a London  street trying to stop a double decker bus on his own . When we stopped laughing so  much a couple of others thought it a good idea to bring him in off the road  as   we didn’t want the bus to get hurt ……..after all what did the bus do to the penguin  ? I feel sorry for the bus  … lol

As you may realise by now we do know this penguin well and we loves him even if he is nuts , and he is  crazy  when partying  but then again who isn’t ? Also  the main reason for all this is that it is his birthday !! lol even penguins  get older  so suck it up Pengy  !! lol you is getting  older even if you don’t want to ….just behave yourself and you might even get older … heh .. you ? behave  ? … nope never going to happen ….unless the moon turns purple  instead of blue …yep that’s it  ..

So  Happy Birthday Pengy !!! Huggs and smooches and may you  see lots of norks!!  lol knowing you that is almost a given  …norti Pengy ….but even so your a nice pengy .. let us just hope there are many more penguin birthdays to be had and that we will be able to be there for the next 1 that would be so much fun .. and if you came here we could show you more curry houses and more pubs in a short distance than you may have ever seen in 1 place before  we have them  all here , all very close to home , we are spoilt for choice ..Also we would love to take you on a tour of them all , what fun that would be  ….

I couldn’t ask for better friends. I could ask for normal friends, but where’s the fun in that?!

 

Paper ..

Paper  …. Have you ever noticed how full of paper our lives are these days  ? I am sure that the  bloke who invented paper never ever  expected it to infect our lives the way it does , never expected it to be in so many areas  of our lives . We have paper for this and paper for that and even paper for something we didn’t even know we needed paper for , when you think about it  there is hardly a time or place we do not need paper at some stage  , it is so funny  when you sit and think about all the paper we do use , let’s face it we cannot even go to the toilet without paper !! Lol the stuff is everywhere , everywhere you look  and even when you don’t there is  paper  it is insidious it sneaks up on you  ..trust me  ..lol ..

Take a look around you  if you are honest there is paper all over the place  , in your drawers ( lol  no not those drawers )  in your cupboard  and yes in the toilet, in the bedroom,  even in the garage  if you have a car , oh yes and even in the car  …lol see what  I mean  ? Just how much paper does 1 person use in a day  ? It is  as  I said  everywhere  , when you get up  you use it in the bathroom , then in the kitchen then in the lounge , just take a look around your  own place and you will see it,  you cannot miss it , doubt if  there is even 1 single establishment  that does not have paper everywhere  . When you do stop and look around or even just close your eyes a min , when you open them the first thing you see is most likely made of paper , lol , there is no escape from paper !!!

Then of course go out into the wide world there is even more paper , every business  you have anything to do with has mountains of paper you must fill in before you can even do business   with them  , they want to know the ins and the outs  of a duck’s B*M!  lol  before you can even contemplate  doing business  with them sheeesh …I mean just go try and open an account anywhere   and see how much paper you have to wade through  before  you can do anything , it makes  you realise  how unimportant you are compared to paper !!   they can do without you but they cannot do without paper  so what hope have we got  ? Makes you feel small when you think of how important paper is as against almost anything else , people use paper for so many things and in so many ways , what have we done that we have made just this 1 single thing  to be so important in our lives  that we all have tons of it in our lives  ?? Almost as  bad as those pesky mobile phones !! Almost I said lol those phones are way more pesky and hard to deal with that any bit of paper .

So how can we hold back the tide ? How can we  at least even slow it down ? Truth is we cannot , everyone needs it  , everyone uses it  , I cannot think of very much at all we do or have  that does not use paper somewhere  in our day ….. see ? Lol told ya we have already been taken over  by paper !! Help … lol but don’t get any matches near it or we will all be in diabolical trouble …. Paper is a lot like people  useful , helpful  but use it the wrong way and it all goes up in smoke !! People are very much like that too  lol  if you dare to upset them  they can get just as hot as a lot of paper on fire  …. At least people do cool down and get over it but paper can’t do that  , heh , we do have 1 thing over paper anyway , but as far as  I can see so far only that 1 thing …yikes ..we need to sort this out before  paper takes over completely  if it hasn’t already …. mmmm  think it has  to be honest ..

Paper  in the morning , paper in the daytime , paper at night  ..see? lol we are  in trouble  paper  has already got a hold  on us  we cannot go a whole day  or even 10 mins  without paper being needed and used ….Had to giggle when thinking about this , this morning  was not really paying attention to what hubby was saying  lol sorry dear  , but was thinking about just how much paper we do use  and how many things are made of paper and that’s  when it occurred  to me lol we have already lost this battle paper won this fight  years ago and we are just waking up to it , well I did anyway  lol .  Also seems to me that no matter how much  paper costs we still need it  , still go and buy it by the ton ( almost lol )  we are now at a stage where  we cannot escape using paper , it has us so tuned into  how much we need it  , we just keep on getting it no matter what …. Paper  1 ….People 0 ….lol ..giggles

At least it is a war that has no casualties  , no 1 got hurt in this great paper take over  , we just got slowly but surely indoctrinated  to the  ways of paper . I am not saying paper is bad  oh no never do that  , lol, we need paper too much now  and life would be way too messy  to try and live without using paper  now  and sod that for an argument  , I for 1 hate mess as it is usually me that has to clean it up …yukk …So love it or hate it we are stuck with it   and  no matter what we think Paper Wins! …. lol ..oh well could be worse  ….

 

Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” …. I said, “I am.”

Inanimate Objects

Inanimate  Objects ….. You know them , they are the ones that always seem to be in the very last place you need them to be , you  are walking  through the house in bare feet and ” bang * ouch * ”  that table you were walking past suddenly moved  so you would  hit it with your big toe . They strike  more at night than in the day  however as they are sneaky things  they wait till you are not in the room to do it  , then they move just a little bit  so they can get you the next time  you dare to walk around with no shoes on. * sneaky sods *

Every time and you can count on it  you are a tiny bit distracted  they see this and act , they know full well you are totally convinced that they cannot move all by themselves , but they can , trust me they must be able to . How else can they always , and  I mean always  be in the very last place you want them to be ? I mean how do they know to be in that exact spot just as you walk by with nothing on your feet  ? If they really cannot move then how do they do it  ? How do  they manage to be there  just at the right time for you to stub  your big toe on them ? There is only 1 answer ! They can move! They do move! They love breaking our toes ! How else do they get some fun if not ? Makes sense to me anyway .

Just how many  times do we have to break toes on these things before we wake up to the fact that they  can and do move when you are not watching them ? Just the other day my desk moved and although I didn’t  break my toe this time it sure  as anything felt like it  man it hurt , and it hurt for ages  too . There have been so many times through the years when lots of toes have been hurt and even broken   but no one has thought to realise that these dam things  must move by themselves . I mean really how else could they always be right there , right in the wrong place if they do not move by themselves?

I would bet there is hardly a single person who has not  had this happen to them a few times in their lives , but we being what we are we don’t say anything because we do not want our friends and family  to know we have  done it , we are too ashamed to admit we have  been caught by a  table , a chair , a  desk , etc  etc etc , and do not want to admit  the pain either as that just makes it worse to bear. Have you ever admitted to anyone when your toe has  been broken or almost by a piece of inanimate  furniture  ? I very much doubt it as you would be too embarrassed to admit they got you  . It is not always  in the house either , what about out in the yard  ? The rakes and hoes, and spades  that also conspire to be just where you do not want them to be and * bang * ouch * yet again caught by these things  that lie in wait  and don’t  forget the wheel barrow , they too move to be in the perfect place for you to trip over .

So you tell me now after all this they  are not animate  and  I will tell you to think about it  , if  they really  are inanimate  then how , tell me how they manage to be right in the last place you want them to be , just at the very worst time ? Also how they knew to be just there  just then ? I tell you it is a conspiracy !! We are always told they cannot move , they do not lie in wait  , but they do!  They know just where and when to be  to cause the most pain and damage to our poor toes . Of course we could be sensible and keep something on our feet all the time but where’s the fun in that  ?? Anyway I hate shoes and never put them on till I go out , so that is not on for me  sod the inanimate …lol

As a great author Peirs Anthony   stated  in 1 of his wonderful books    ….

Never underestimate  the perversity  of the inanimate ….I say he is ..Correct …lol  and really he is spot on the money with that statement  just ask anyone who has broken a toe on something that should not have  been able to move but was in exactly the wrong place at the wrong time to make sure it got you . Then  it just sits there  not moving making you feel like an idiot for even thinking it was it’s fault  when all the time it actually was it’s fault . It moved , just a little so  you wouldn’t even notice until  you walked into it , and it knew you would look at it and think well it can’t move so it’s not it’s fault and that is where we get it wrong  . They do move!! My almost broken toe is proof coz the desk that got me is too big  for me to move on my own  <——there is the proof … I’m right the inanimate  is wrong  end of story !!!

 

Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break their bones. They have over 200 of them…

Sometimes I Wish

Sometimes  I wish ….. How many times have we thought this  ? Once a day ? once a week  ? I know I often think it  there are times when you just stop and say  I wish .. What causes these times  ? What makes us stop and ponder and  think I wish ??  So many things in life bring us to this point , things we have done , things others have done, things that have happened around the world , so many things and reasons  to make us stop and  wish so many things we think we could do better , but really could we  ?

Like sometimes  I wish people would try a little harder to be nice , or try a little harder to help someone else  rather than just live in their  own little world  , that they would try to see that they are not the only ones on this planet. Sometimes  I wish like a lot  of people  that life was not quite so hard , that it didn’t seem like it was trying to  beat you up  , and just give you a little break now and then . Also I wish that people in power  would stop and think about the people  they rule over , I mean really  think about them  and try to help them achieve their best  rather than just beating them down or taxing them into oblivion .They might find it way more beneficial  if they did .

 

Sometimes  I wish every time 1 of our sporting teams  went out to play they would win every time , but that would  hardly  be fair now would it  ? Not to mention that after a while it would be boring to watch , not to mention the bookies , lol , they would not like it as no one would bet at all  and they would be out of business. think that would  be a good idea too sometimes with the trouble they can cause with people who cannot  control their gambling . No other teams  would want to play us either , it would take all the excitement out of  sport  altogether . It is the joy of the  chase to achieve the win  that makes sport what it is , and makes the players  want to win , so if they always won it would get boring for them too. Also the way they learn how to do things better how to improve on their outlook  and the way they play the game  it is all a good learning curve for later on in life .

Sometimes  I wish  technology would slow down and think more of people  rather than how can  we make this machine or than machine   better than it is now ? yes it is good for things to be improved   how about improving things for people rather than things  , people bleed machines don’t. Sometimes I wish  there was a way to get everyone  helping each other rather than themselves  the world today is so self orientated  that I cannot see this ever happening  much as  I would love to see it . Yes it is nice to be able to have the best and most updated machines but wouldn’t it be better to spend a little less time on things and a little more  time on people  ? People  to me will always be more important than things any day of the week . People can love , machines cannot no matter how smart they appear to be .

Sometimes  I wish that things that annoy me in life  could be re – programmed  lol you know like husbands  and children , and work , etc . etc .etc. Think of the fun you could have if you could do a little fiddle here and a little fiddle there  and all of a sudden your husband  starts to behave  ? lmao nope never happen * sigh *  lol what a pity . I can think of 1 who needs  re-programming  sometimes  , ok more than sometimes  lol . What if we could program our children  ? mmmmm lol now that could be a real fun thing and also a real challenge , what would we change   and would it be right ? Somehow i think not the very fact of their variability  makes them as special as they are and changing them would be wrong..all of my children are very special to me just the way they are  and  I am glad we cannot just re -program them  you would lose their personality .

Sometimes  I wish …. yes we think this over and over again  but if we really could change the things we want as we want to and when we want to  who would benefit  ? Would it be us or them ? This is something we would have to consider before we changed everything . Sometimes change is good  but sometimes it can be devastating , so we need to be very careful  of what we change and when . So all in all maybe it is a  very good thing that we cannot just sit down and say ” I Wish ”  and have it happen  , it is better this way even if it annoys the crap out of us , it is better that we cannot interfere  with the main scheme of things  no matter how much we want to  at the time. Most of the time let’s face it the only  time we want to change things is when  things are going wrong or not the way we want to .If we could just sit and say  ” I Wish ” everytime  we wanted something changed it would be a very unstable place to be  with nothing ever being able to  just be the same  and be stable , even if we don’t like it .

I wear a ski mask to bed so if there’s a home invasion the intruder will think I’m part of the team…

Numbers

Numbers  …. Have you ever noticed that everything in our lives , well almost everything  rotates around  numbers ? Think  about that for a minute , try and think of a single thing you do everyday that does not have to do with numbers somewhere . The  more you try the more you will realise I am right  , lol , was thinking about this the other day and was very hard pressed to think of anything much that does not contain numbers 1 way or another . Almost gave myself a headache  trying to work through all this  , lol, so went and had a cup of coffee instead  , so take a look at this and see what I mean  .

The day you are born is  a combination of numbers  , day/ month /year  all numbers , then the time you were born another number , how long it took for you to be born more numbers  , how long before your first feed  another number . Get the picture yet  ? lol , then as you grow up each day is full of numbers  time,  hours , minutes, seconds , all more numbers . Start from  when you get up , what time is it  ? What time you had breakfast  more numbers , what time you left the house more numbers etc.etc.etc. so your life right from waking up is controlled by numbers  on the clock . Then  if  you happen to be on any kind of diet  then you have to weigh everything or measure  it, so yet more numbers on  the scales or on the measure . If you get sick then you might have a temperature  so need to take  it to see , yet more numbers on the thermometer , and if you need medication you have more numbers , of pills or of medicine  must be measured  correctly .

Then of course you are going to go to work , here we have a whole new lot of numbers , what time we leave, what time we start work , how far we travel , how long we have to be at work, how long over the time of work end before we actually leave . Then there is going home  what time we leave , how long it takes to get home if different to the time it took  to get to work in the first place . If we go somewhere else  after work then how long are we there before we go home  and what time we get  home , how many hours we  were away all told in that day , how many times we took time to eat and drink and rest as well .

Now if we decide to be a fitness type of person  we have a whole other world of numbers , how  far we walk , how many reps we do of gym workouts , how many times we go to the gym or if we don’t do the gym how  many times  we walk in a week . If we do not go  to gym or walk maybe we do sports , lol, now you got tons of numbers  to relate to if  we play competitive sports as we try to do more and do better each time we do them. The amount  of times we do these things is a lot more numbers , do you realise  just how many  times  just in 1 day we actually  count ? lol We do not even realise we are counting  anymore we do it so much everyday  for so many things.

If you have a car then yep  you got it lots more numbers , how much petrol, how many miles , how long before servicing , how much it will cost  , how much will the fuel cost this time, have  I got enough money  , lol  with cars the list of numbers goes on and on  and thats  only after the big number that we used to purchase the car . Just purchasing the car is not the end of the numbers by far it is only  the start    lol by a very long way you never stop using numbers when owning  a car it never ends till you get rid of it. Then what do most do ? Yep lol go get another 1 and off we go with yet more numbers .

So love em or hate  em  numbers control every stage  of our lives  no wonder some people  get fed up with numbers lol , I was never that good at maths but some are very good at them  ,  they seem to love them but to me they are just a pain . So by now you should have  the idea  that no matter what we do we are surrounded by numbers , and if anyone can find something we do in a 24 hour period that does not require us to use numbers I would sure like to know about it . Nope  can’t think of anything  and not going  to try anymore  as I do not need another headache , lol, I married 1 that was enough .

Imagine for a few mins what would happen if we stopped counting  ? How would our cooking for example be  ? How much would either be undercooked or over cooked  ? lol Only way to not need counting for cooking is not to do any  and just eat all raw food  and to that I say yuk ..lol. So we count and we count everything everyday , and there is so much more  that could be put in here but that is more  than enough  for you to get  the idea. So keep on  counting lol coz when you stop it might not be a good thing, keep counting  and have fun  counting lol .

 

My husband gave me some sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.