Inanimate Objects ….. You know them , they are the ones that always seem to be in the very last place you need them to be , you are walking through the house in bare feet and ” bang * ouch * ” that table you were walking past suddenly moved so you would hit it with your big toe . They strike more at night than in the day however as they are sneaky things they wait till you are not in the room to do it , then they move just a little bit so they can get you the next time you dare to walk around with no shoes on. * sneaky sods *
Every time and you can count on it you are a tiny bit distracted they see this and act , they know full well you are totally convinced that they cannot move all by themselves , but they can , trust me they must be able to . How else can they always , and I mean always be in the very last place you want them to be ? I mean how do they know to be in that exact spot just as you walk by with nothing on your feet ? If they really cannot move then how do they do it ? How do they manage to be there just at the right time for you to stub your big toe on them ? There is only 1 answer ! They can move! They do move! They love breaking our toes ! How else do they get some fun if not ? Makes sense to me anyway .
Just how many times do we have to break toes on these things before we wake up to the fact that they can and do move when you are not watching them ? Just the other day my desk moved and although I didn’t break my toe this time it sure as anything felt like it man it hurt , and it hurt for ages too . There have been so many times through the years when lots of toes have been hurt and even broken but no one has thought to realise that these dam things must move by themselves . I mean really how else could they always be right there , right in the wrong place if they do not move by themselves?
I would bet there is hardly a single person who has not had this happen to them a few times in their lives , but we being what we are we don’t say anything because we do not want our friends and family to know we have done it , we are too ashamed to admit we have been caught by a table , a chair , a desk , etc etc etc , and do not want to admit the pain either as that just makes it worse to bear. Have you ever admitted to anyone when your toe has been broken or almost by a piece of inanimate furniture ? I very much doubt it as you would be too embarrassed to admit they got you . It is not always in the house either , what about out in the yard ? The rakes and hoes, and spades that also conspire to be just where you do not want them to be and * bang * ouch * yet again caught by these things that lie in wait and don’t forget the wheel barrow , they too move to be in the perfect place for you to trip over .
So you tell me now after all this they are not animate and I will tell you to think about it , if they really are inanimate then how , tell me how they manage to be right in the last place you want them to be , just at the very worst time ? Also how they knew to be just there just then ? I tell you it is a conspiracy !! We are always told they cannot move , they do not lie in wait , but they do! They know just where and when to be to cause the most pain and damage to our poor toes . Of course we could be sensible and keep something on our feet all the time but where’s the fun in that ?? Anyway I hate shoes and never put them on till I go out , so that is not on for me sod the inanimate …lol
As a great author Peirs Anthony stated in 1 of his wonderful books ….
Never underestimate the perversity of the inanimate ….I say he is ..Correct …lol and really he is spot on the money with that statement just ask anyone who has broken a toe on something that should not have been able to move but was in exactly the wrong place at the wrong time to make sure it got you . Then it just sits there not moving making you feel like an idiot for even thinking it was it’s fault when all the time it actually was it’s fault . It moved , just a little so you wouldn’t even notice until you walked into it , and it knew you would look at it and think well it can’t move so it’s not it’s fault and that is where we get it wrong . They do move!! My almost broken toe is proof coz the desk that got me is too big for me to move on my own <——there is the proof … I’m right the inanimate is wrong end of story !!!
Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break their bones. They have over 200 of them…