Inanimate Objects

Inanimate  Objects ….. You know them , they are the ones that always seem to be in the very last place you need them to be , you  are walking  through the house in bare feet and ” bang * ouch * ”  that table you were walking past suddenly moved  so you would  hit it with your big toe . They strike  more at night than in the day  however as they are sneaky things  they wait till you are not in the room to do it  , then they move just a little bit  so they can get you the next time  you dare to walk around with no shoes on. * sneaky sods *

Every time and you can count on it  you are a tiny bit distracted  they see this and act , they know full well you are totally convinced that they cannot move all by themselves , but they can , trust me they must be able to . How else can they always , and  I mean always  be in the very last place you want them to be ? I mean how do they know to be in that exact spot just as you walk by with nothing on your feet  ? If they really cannot move then how do they do it  ? How do  they manage to be there  just at the right time for you to stub  your big toe on them ? There is only 1 answer ! They can move! They do move! They love breaking our toes ! How else do they get some fun if not ? Makes sense to me anyway .

Just how many  times do we have to break toes on these things before we wake up to the fact that they  can and do move when you are not watching them ? Just the other day my desk moved and although I didn’t  break my toe this time it sure  as anything felt like it  man it hurt , and it hurt for ages  too . There have been so many times through the years when lots of toes have been hurt and even broken   but no one has thought to realise that these dam things  must move by themselves . I mean really how else could they always be right there , right in the wrong place if they do not move by themselves?

I would bet there is hardly a single person who has not  had this happen to them a few times in their lives , but we being what we are we don’t say anything because we do not want our friends and family  to know we have  done it , we are too ashamed to admit we have  been caught by a  table , a chair , a  desk , etc  etc etc , and do not want to admit  the pain either as that just makes it worse to bear. Have you ever admitted to anyone when your toe has  been broken or almost by a piece of inanimate  furniture  ? I very much doubt it as you would be too embarrassed to admit they got you  . It is not always  in the house either , what about out in the yard  ? The rakes and hoes, and spades  that also conspire to be just where you do not want them to be and * bang * ouch * yet again caught by these things  that lie in wait  and don’t  forget the wheel barrow , they too move to be in the perfect place for you to trip over .

So you tell me now after all this they  are not animate  and  I will tell you to think about it  , if  they really  are inanimate  then how , tell me how they manage to be right in the last place you want them to be , just at the very worst time ? Also how they knew to be just there  just then ? I tell you it is a conspiracy !! We are always told they cannot move , they do not lie in wait  , but they do!  They know just where and when to be  to cause the most pain and damage to our poor toes . Of course we could be sensible and keep something on our feet all the time but where’s the fun in that  ?? Anyway I hate shoes and never put them on till I go out , so that is not on for me  sod the inanimate …lol

As a great author Peirs Anthony   stated  in 1 of his wonderful books    ….

Never underestimate  the perversity  of the inanimate ….I say he is ..Correct …lol  and really he is spot on the money with that statement  just ask anyone who has broken a toe on something that should not have  been able to move but was in exactly the wrong place at the wrong time to make sure it got you . Then  it just sits there  not moving making you feel like an idiot for even thinking it was it’s fault  when all the time it actually was it’s fault . It moved , just a little so  you wouldn’t even notice until  you walked into it , and it knew you would look at it and think well it can’t move so it’s not it’s fault and that is where we get it wrong  . They do move!! My almost broken toe is proof coz the desk that got me is too big  for me to move on my own  <——there is the proof … I’m right the inanimate  is wrong  end of story !!!

 

Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break their bones. They have over 200 of them…

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