Archive | November 2017

Men

Men … Love em or not they are in your life  everyday  in everyway , there is not 1 single thing that you can do without men being involved , lol like the weather  you have to see what they are up to , or about to be up to , or what they have done since you last checked on them .  They can be almost as destructive as the weather  , but also they can be as wonderful as the weather  , and again like the weather   they change all the time , hence the need to check on them as much as the weather before you do anything. Weather being nice ,off you go for a nice day  , same with men if they are being nice it can also be a very nice day  . Beginning to see  the similarities yet  ? lol Weather  ..Men ..always need checking  ?? Only things that need the same level of checking up on are babies  lol and a lot  of those are males too ….lol

Men the only  people on the planet that drive you mad 1 min. and  love you the next , they are so hard to fathom it gives you a mighty headache at times , lol, but be honest where would we be without them ? Yes, yes  I know things would be a lot more peaceful  without them but it would also be very boring  ..dammit  …lol .. so we keep them in our lives  just for  the giggles  let’s  face  it we all need a good giggle . While they can be quite nice and helpful at times , like the weather  lol , there are times when we seriously  wonder why do we bother  ? They like the weather can be so frustrating  and so changeable it does tend to drive you right to distraction  and back again , they are very rarely what you want when you want ….sheeesh …typical ..

Weather at least never forgets where it is going and needs no directions  but have you ever seen a man ask for directions  ? Nope me neither that seems to be something that they are just not able to do , why do you think they had to invent sat nav? If you didn’t know why it was invented well now you do lol it was so they never had to ask for directions again  neat huh? That is  1 way to solve a problem and stop the women from going crook at them for not asking directions , so you actually get 2 for the price of 1 there  lol . Weather also knows where everything is as it does everything in it’s path , but have you ever seen a man be able to find something  ? Especially if it  is right in front of him ? Lol where do you think the phrase ” If it was a dog it would bite you ”  came from ? Lol women made that up having got so sick of having to help men see what was right in front of them , I always laugh when this happens  truly I do …( sorry dear ) * not sorry *

Weather at least does not have to do the shopping  so men are the ones here that make you either happy to have them with you or exasperated  and they have a great knack of doing both , sometimes at the same time  ..lol ..Clothes shopping has got to be the very worst thing to take a man with you on but sometimes it just can’t be avoided they have to be there for 1 reason or another. They would much rather you just parked them in the pub  until the dreaded clothes shopping was done  but alas this cannot always be done  , they call those men’s  drop off centers  lol and I bet most men wish there was more of them than there are now and that they could get dropped off more often , lol …

Don’t get me wrong they do have their  uses   like the weather they do come in handy at times but wouldn’t it be nice if like a car they could just be put into storage or something until you need them again ? lol Exactly like the weather though you just can’t do it  you are stuck with them  all the time if you  want them or not  lol . Like  the weather though they too are in every thing you do ,they are in your home , in your day , at your work, in the shops, etc etc etc  and like the weather we just have to sort them out . Sorting men out though is way much more fun than sorting out the weather  , at least they can  be sorted out but you can’t  sort out the weather  as it just does what it wants when it wants . Men would love to be able to do that but unfortunately  they just cannot  lol serves them right for being such pains .. lol

Well at least the fun of sorting men out when they need it  , which seems  to be most of the time  compensates a little bit for all the trouble they cause  , lol, the weather can’t say that as the trouble it can cause is catastrophic  and men mostly are not quite that bad  lol.  Men can easily be tamed by a nice kiss, a special look in the eye , etc  you know what I mean lol it is easy to sort them out  but the weather would just go right over you without so much as a wave  lol. lol. Men and weather have so much in common that it does tend to make life a lot more interesting  , lol, who wants a boring life anyway  ? Well if you do you have to go shut yourself away somewhere and hope the weather does not find you , lol, coz as we know men can’t find anything  lol. Wait …lol I fib there is 1 thing they can always find and that is the pub !! Rarely has a man not been able to find  a pub  unless he is sick ..lol

Who decided to call the man purse a satchel shouldn’t it be called a douchebag?

My downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I’m living in their attic..

smile u make & hi say 2 wanted just I that out find u wen irritating very it find may u….. CONFUSED?? Now read it backwards..

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Weather

Weather …. we all  have it in varying  degrees  and we cannot do a single thing about it , but have you ever  noticed just how much it rules your life  ? There is not a single thing that  I know of that we can do without  checking the weather first , and  I bet you can’t think of anything either  lol go on try it …. 1st  try this …get out of bed , go make coffee  , when you put on the kettle try really hard not to look out the window to see if it is raining  or not  …lol I bet you cannot , you cannot go another step in starting your day  until you see what the weather is doing and finding out what the rest of the day will be like  . If you say that it is not the 1st thing you check after putting the kettle on then  lol I just don’t believe you …. now I will tell you why  I don’t ..lol

Reasons  why the weather is the 1st thing everyone checks when they get out of bed  are as follows …1. you need to know what clothes to wear , I mean you do not want to get wet or get too hot in whatever clothes you put on right  ?  2. you need to do the washing or go out shopping  so again you need to know if washing will get dry  and you will not get wet getting home with  the shopping. 3. you wish to go walking or just go out and do some gardening  and in either thing you do not want to be either rained on or boiled and get burned . See? there are so many , many reasons why the 1st thing we check is the weather  as we do need to know what the risks  are before we even leave the house. After all who in what passes for their minds wants to get caught out in the wrong clothes  and with the wrong shoes on , it is no fun wearing sandals  if you get caught in the middle of a drench pour , trust me been there done that when unexpected rain came over once , it is yukky had wet feet for ages before I  could get  some new shoes and socks , which I had to do to continue with what I was doing that day ….not funny…lol

Weather controls not only all our plans but it also controls the world when you think about it , no one can do anything without sorting the weather out first , they cannot even launch a ship , or a rocket to the moon, or  a car race or a whole lot of other things pertaining to sport if the weather is playing havoc . Weather at it’s worst is when you get caught in storms  of either rain, wind, snow, or even some bush fires that have been started by the storms. Can you imagine what the odds are of having a good day if you never looked out the window 1st thing , looked at the forecast on TV, or checked a weather app  before you even get dressed and take the risk all will be ok , I would put the odds at more than  50- 1 you will end up in trouble  lol trust me  …Would you like to run a marathon or ride in a cycle race in the pouring rain ? lol no thank you ..

Weather  and what it is doing is just so important  to us in our everyday  comings and goings  that there is now a huge global job  for those that work in the weather industry , let’s face it the  weather has created so many jobs , in forecasting , reporting , researching . etc etc etc , it is now a multi million $$$$  industry now in every country in the world , there is not a country that can do anything  without knowing what the weather will be like that day or the next. Even these awful people who plan wars  they need to know they are not wasting their ammo  because the weather will affect the  firing of or where they land. Think about it  lol , they fire a weapon and it is too windy so said  bullet comes back at them because they never checked the weather to see if there was a tornado or something coming ..lol how funny would that be  ?

Weather …lol  ..we like it or not we have to take notice  of the weather before we even get the day started so if you think about it , it’s not people who run the world it’s the weather …lol, it says either yes or no to any plans you want to make . Imagine  just going out and you want to have  BBQ but you don’t check the weather  and instead of a nice day out you get drenched  , lol now tell me again who runs everything ?? Weather  is the real ruler because you cannot even go shopping sometimes  the weather is so bad  , yes you can do the shopping online  but that is not nearly so much fun sometimes as meeting  up with friends makes it all so much more fun than sitting in front of a screen. …and talking of screens  ..

Weather  even controls our internet , it can be washed out , blown out , burned out  , lol so one more time  who is incharge ?? lol you guessed it …the weather …so we  better  get used to it , coz it is not people who run the world it is the weather and it can be very nasty. Storms of all kinds do all sorts of damage , and cause us so much trouble over the years  that you would think we would have noticed by now how much power the weather  has and how much it rules us all , and not just 1 country either , it runs the whole world. Would you go out and try and tell a storm to nick off so you can do something  ? lol ..  Good luck with that , it will look at you and literally blow you over as it laughs it’s way past you , you have no more hope of telling a storm what to do than you have of ignoring the weather , it has you just where it wants you …. lol …  Weather  10 …people 0 …always  ..lol …enjoy ..

Husband: I am so bored my bum has fallen asleep.
Me: I know, I heard it snoring.

Since it started raining all my husband has done is look through the stupid window… If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let him in…

What Is It ?

What is it that makes you  ..you ?  What is it that makes you special ? What is it that makes you different  from everyone else  ? There are so many things that makes each person different from any other we could go on for days  if we tried to list them all . Starting with genetics  , that is the 1 major thing that rules us all no matter what race , colour or creed we are , everyone has  a distinct genetic code  and that can never be changed , just as we are all born exactly the way we are meant to be , no matter what the evil that is transgender says , a man is a man no matter what he does to his body , the same for women , you are never born in the wrong body  .

What else is there  ? Hair for 1 everyone has a different style , colour , and even this is genetically controlled , but at least us changing it a bit as in cutting it  , perming it, colouring it  , is not  harmful so we can do that without harm to ourselves. Then there are the eyes , these too are all different , in colour and size and even shape  the only real difference  is the way we use them , lol you know when a woman flashes them at a man she wants to impress , do you do that to your man  ? lol I do to hubby  and  it works lol .We then get into body types and they are also so very different according to race, colour , etc , some are large , some are small , some are tiny , again all down to the genetics that we come from . Having  a large body does not always mean  it is your fault you are large or as the world sees you fat, some people through no fault of their own have a genetic thread that is very hard to beat , and no matter how hard you try you just cannot lose weight, but some people just cannot accept that as the truth and can be very hurtful to those larger people , yes some are that way because they eat too much but not all of them by a very long shot .

Also there are people who are too short or too tall  and who would love to be other but unless the genetics are there  it cannot happen  , so like large people you just have to manage until you can hopefully find a way to stall or stop the genetic code that rules your  life. Amazes me though just how many people will do anything and everything to change their body style and shape just to be more beautiful , when in actual fact  it is more than likely just an attitude  change that would work better. People with a selfish nature  or with a violent streak  or who are just shy or  just want a me , me, me, type of life all the surgery in the world will not change what is inside . Never in my life have  I cared about a persons shape, colour, nationality  , it is what that person is like inside , that is how I work out what people are really like . They can do all that , become the most famous , the richest , the most sought after , the most beautiful,  but if they are rotten inside it will all be a total waste of time and money to change it all.

What is it ? What is it that makes you happy or sad  or upset or  cynical or whatever you show to the world each day ? To me just being able to look after my hubby and also my family and keep clothes on our backs and food on the table , and the ability to  go and do things if we want to is more than enough for me . I am not 1 of the ones who has to try to change things that do not need changing , thinking that by doing so then  I will be happy , no I long ago realised the best way is to make the most of what  I have and to see the bright side wherever possible   and try to make people laugh. To let our problems  get us down is not the way to get the best out of life  , you have to take control or get controlled . Too many people let themselves be talked into things that they never should agree to and saddest of all now they are ruining the children , trying to tell a 2 year old  they were born in the wrong body , now how evil is that  ? We are supposed to protect the children not corrupt them , this is worse than those that stick a phone their kids hands as soon as they are born so they don’t have to worry about them .

The world has changed so much now it is so hard to make the right decisions about anything , and it gets down to what we really are inside as to what and how we make our decisions in life  that  helps also to make us what we are . Making the right decisions these days has become so hard I can see  how easy it is for some people to make the right ones , knowing full well that once the decision has  been made that is it  , for better or worse as they say in the classics …..or when you get married  ..lol ..So what is it with you  , and how you do things and how you handle day to day things  ? What is it that makes you tick in just the way you do ? The reasons why we do and say the things we do  are so many and so varied  that we all  have a very different style , and  the way we handle things is all mostly the same way our forefathers did , if we like it or not  that is the way it is or as they say also in the classics …..It is what it is  ….

 

Figuring out that you’ll probably never figure it out is the first step of really figuring it out…

What did the llama say when he got kicked off the farm? Alpaca my bags…

Life

Life …. Now who messed it up so much  ? Come on fess up …lol well it seems it has been messed up by someone doing something  silly to it , life has become these days just like a jigsaw  puzzle  and half the time you just don’t have all the pieces . Remember when, say only as little as 10 – 15 years ago life was a whole lot easier to manage ? You knew what you wanted to do  so you set yourself a task  to do and got on with it and the end result was you got where you wanted to be , doing what you wanted to do what you set out to do. All the hard work all the time you spent on it  everything you planned has all been done and you now have what you want  from the beginning , so now you relax and enjoy all that hard work , enjoy the fruits  of all the time spent.

Well somehow in the last 10 or so years this scenario  now has become all messed up , like the jigsaw you had all the pieces  you fitted them together , now however when you try to put them all together somehow there are 1 or 3 bits gone missing , somehow  you have been all messed up and it wasn’t even your fault  , you probably didn’t even see the bits get moved or nicked. How many times have you started planning  something , all goes nicely  until somehow just before the final bit drops into place Bang! Something  you did not plan for happens and all your lovely jigsaw pieces  get moved a bit or a lot and now you have to rearrange it all over again and hope like mad this time it all stays put. Crossing all your fingers and toes  and anything else you can get hold  of to cross you again set it all up and wait , this time all goes well and you achieve your goals.

Sometimes though if you are really , really lucky everything will go as planned and life for a while does what you hope it will with no big dramas  and you feel you can relax . Today though life has got so much more complicated and things happen you do not expect  or  you  can do nothing about , these are the times when you just want to strangle someone  , you get so stressed and wonder why , and how you can sort it all out again. Life has a funny way of giving you the unexpected , I think it does it just to stop things being boring , it matters not  how you feel life does what it does regardless of how you feel about it , as they say  ” it is what it is ” and you have to get on with it .  Well you may as well as griping about it wont help or fix anything you just have to adjust.

Let’s face it all you can do is as they say in the classics  ” pull up your big girls panties ”  and just move on , move on and reset direction , pretend it is a big computer game and just hit –control/alt/delete —  lol how well we all know these phrases now . Ok yes  I do know life just cannot be reset like a computer  no matter how much we might want  it to it just does not work like that * sigh * lol would make things easier though  wouldn’t it? Oh well like I said these days you just have to sit and do a mental  reset and start again, it takes time and patience to start again but doing that is way better than letting it get the better of you . Yes you might have to start from scratch you might even have to move house , move jobs, move a lot of things , but 1 thing for sure while you still have this  thing called life you have got hope and hope keeps us going .

Starting again is something  I have had to do many times and for many reasons  but I have not let it get the better of me ,  I just look around for the missing pieces  of my jigsaw and get moving again. Anyway  I now find it a challenge to get on with things rather than let the things get to me , for me it has been a real challenge  and also at times a lot of fun , I always try to find the funny side of things . Looking for the fun in this experience called life  is my way of dealing with frustration and challenges , lol and no this time I’m not talking about hubby . This time I am simply talking about all the things that make life more interesting and more challenging , well you wouldn’t want me to get bored would you ? lol I don’t want me getting  bored  either so looking for the funny things  in life stops the boredom  for me anyway .

 

My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?

Zippitydoodah… What on earth is a doo dah and how do you zip it?

To all you early risers out there…GO BACK TO BED….your making me look lazy.!!

 

Waiting ..

Waiting  …Have you ever noticed how much waiting we and the whole world does ? We wait  for people  , for things, for events , for weather , for so many things  I could not possibly put them all down here  so I will for 1 more time be waiting  ..lol .. So how do you go at waiting  ?  Do you like waiting  ? Are you too impatient to wait ? Do you see it as a challenge to have to wait  ? How long will you wait for something  ? Will you wait for days, months, years  for something ? Do you decide how long to wait or just  wait and see  ? How many times have you waited only to find out you didn’t really have to  ? You could  have had that thing or gone to that place without waiting , you find that out later then  how did you feel ? There is nothing more frustrating than waiting for something or somebody only to have it called off at the last minute , have you been there and done that  ? I know  I have and it is so annoying , lol almost as annoying as husbands can be , and that can be pretty annoying  lol  ( sorry dear ) Waiting it is something we do all day everyday when you think about it , we wait for our food to cook , for our car/bus/train/etc  to get us where we need to go  and think nothing of it as we are so used to it, we even have to wait for our coffee !! lol ..

Waiting is not an easy thing to do if what we are waiting for is important to us , how do you wait? Pace the floor, listen to music, watch TV, read a book ? So many different ways to wait what is your way of waiting ? All those appointments  we have to wait for , all those sales we have to wait for , all those holidays we have to wait for , all those shows and  sports events we wait for ? So how do you wait for these things to happen ? I have found by either getting on Twitter or  Faceache  will take my mind off the waiting quite nicely  thank you lol . These 2 social media applications alone can keep you so occupied you do not even note the waiting and next thing you know time’s up and the waiting is over. Either 1 of 2 things has happened  the time has caught up to you and you are now running late  or you were able to control yourself  just enough to still be ready on time ., either way the wait is finally over and now it is time to do whatever you were waiting for .

Waiting has  an effect on most people , some do not mind waiting some hate it and want to have everything done the minute they want it  with no waiting at all , and some  do not care and simply say to themselves  it will be worth it in the end so I will wait . Which 1 of these covers you  ? What things do you not mind waiting for and which  ones do you really hate to have to wait for ? Somethings are really , really worth waiting for  while others  drive you crazy as they take too long to get here , I  know how I feel if I know something really good  is coming up I hate the waiting  as  I know it is going to be great , but if  I am waiting for something say, like a visit to the doctor lol I do not mind  waiting for that to happen , coz after all who actually likes going to a doctor  ? Some people do but that’s not me rather  keep away thanks , lol, so that is 1 thing  I don’t care how long  I have to wait for , but for a good outing somewhere or a great show or sporting event those are things  I just hate having to wait for , just want to get there .

Somethings as  I said are well worth the wait no matter how long you have to wait but what if  what you have waited so long for suddenly is not happening ? There is nothing to my mind worse  than finding out , just when you are  almost there that the thing has been cancelled , I really hate that  and anything you do after that , though it  may be good  it never quite measures up  to the 1 that got cancelled . What  do you do in these cases  ? Some people  go right off and just go and get  drunk or something  , while others  just  sigh  and say oh well  maybe next time . Things like that are really hard to take especially if it is something you have waited  a very long time for  , and with some of these things  you have to book them months in advance  so it is a real let down to have them cancelled at the last minute. We can at least be thankful that cancellations are not common to most things  so the waiting is worth it in the end ,and we can just relax and learn to wait a little more  without  getting our knickers in a twist lol.

Waiting is not something  I like doing much  for shortish  periods  is ok but long time waiting is not my best like ,  don’t mind waiting for something  I’m cooking to be done for instance is ok , or waiting for a bus/train/etc  is also ok  but having to wait months for a show or a sports event  is something that I really do not like having to do  but will if it means I get to go . Waiting for someone you love  to arrive or  to do something is a whole new world of waiting  as you worry too much about them getting to you or getting  what they went out to get and get back safely , this kind of waiting is the hardest  because you love them , if love didn’t come into it , the waiting  would pass without any problems. Waiting …waiting…waiting …lol …always waiting  for something or someone , but on the bright side it usually ends up being a good wait  mostly and it is only our style of waiting  that makes a big difference . Anyway how would getting everything we wanted  when we wanted it  be in anyway good for us  ? Let’s face it  it would only make for even more  impatient  people  than there  there is now and there are way too many of them now  as  I see it , too many people rushing around  and just knocking you over if you get in the way . …Oh well we will see , see if we can relax  more  and just learn to enjoy the waiting as  I doubt there will ever  be a time when  we stop having to wait  for something  or someone . .. So how will you wait  ??

 

You can lead a horse to water but I’d rather ride it to the liquor store…

 

Pop pop popsicle.. ice ice icicle.. test test… oops better stop here…..