Moving

Moving ….Love  it or hate it  we all do it at some point , some move more than others  some never move at all once they get to a place they decide is for them . This place is somewhere they feel warm and comfortable and relaxed in  and it will take a huge incentive  to make them go through the agonies  of packing  and moving . After all it is a huge task , sorting out , packing  boxes and cases  , playing with bubble wrap , lol, except the  sods have now stopped making it so no more  poppable  bubble wrap , new stuff is not poppable ( spoilsports ) . So a word of warning if you find real bubble wrap  then keep it , coz you will not get any more  , did  I mention they are spoilsports?  Getting rid of the poppable  stuff so they can just make more money , not fair .

Anyway getting back to this moving lark , it is no fun  it is a right pain in the proverbial , you have to go through everything you have , sort it out , see what to keep and what to chuck out. Have you any idea how time consuming and hard this is? Do I keep this or do  I not ? Will I use it again or will it just go in another cupboard  not to be used just like it wasn’t used before  , but you keep it  Justin…you know just..in case you might want it again in 6 months time . Funny thing is if you do keep it , you will probably never use it  , but the second you get rid of it  in approximately  5 mins time you will need it . Didn’t i say a blog or 2 ago about  Murphy’s Law  ? Well this is what it is based on and remember  he was an optimist , and this  kind of situation just proves it  100%.

Then of course there is the furniture , yikes!  beds , cupboards, wardrobes , dressing tables , tables , lounges, chairs , etc . etc. etc. Then we have the  ” white goods  ”  you know fridge , freezer, washing machine , etc. then of course there is also the crockery , the cutlery, the glassware , all this stuff ad infinitum , always seems to be 1 more thing of each than you thought you had   , and you always find things you thought you had lost which add to the number of items  you now have to move . Remember  Murphy ?? lol yep here he is again messing with all your carefully laid moving plans , good ain’t it  ? lol

Clothing  now here is the really fun part , it always seems to work out that you have way more than you even thought you had , but you don’t find this out  till you start to pack them , lol , well done Murphy  once again. , but shhh don’t remind him about shoes  which always seem to have bred  in the cupboard  you had them in while you were not paying attention  so again more than you thought you had to pack  , grrrr  dam  you Murphy ..see how he manages to mess with every thing ?  Mess with every plan you had and were so sure you had sorted . lol not a hope of it all going exactly to plan with him around . Will someone please get rid of  Murphy and his law please  ?

Things  will not be so bad if you remember him and plan around him , yes it can be done  , lol, if you like call it a plan B , always have a plan B , I always have and it has always worked for me  ( phew ) lol ….so right now sitting among the cases and boxes and  bubble wrap , yes the right kind lol  and I’m keeping what we don’t use  so I can still have some popping fun later .  Waiting on hubby to get last few things done  and for the truck to arrive  to pick up the stuff , hoping that  when it all gets to the other end it will all come off  ok and then we can begin the fun of sorting it out …oh joy ..😦  …lol … got to be done right  ?  The very best thing about this bit is that once we have gotten it all there  we can take our time to sort it out and get rid of what we don’t want .

Then for the next few weeks  you sort things out  , get the house in order , then go out and about in your new suburb  to see what’s what  so you know where everything  is if you need anything , this can be a nice relaxing time walking around  and maybe meeting new people  in the shops  or whatever and maybe some of the new neighbours . First few weeks are the most intense as you get to know the place and the people and how things work , like busses and trains etc. …..Anyway   better get going  before hubby and or truck arrives  lol will see you all later ….🙂

Husband”hunny, I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear” . . . Me “kitchen, living room, dining room, bed room, should I keep going?” . . .

Terms and Conditions

Terms and conditions  or otherwise known as  t’s & c’s ….. These things drive us so mad at times they are attached  to  everything we do , say or buy , and then some   and you can bet your sweet bippy  they will soon be on every single thing   we do , say etc. Buy anything  anywhere  anytime and yep you guessed it t’s and c’s  are on them  and if you  do not sit down for half an hour  and read every single 1 of them it can come to bite  you in the bum , almost literally  , so you better  take  the time to read , make sure  you have your glasses on too. Think how awful you will feel if you get bit on the bum coz  you missed a bit  , coz  you forgot to have your glasses on , silly you  ….

They  put them on everything  but you know I think they just do that to make your life  miserable  lol they know that 9 out of 10 people will not even bother to read them so if and when something goes wrong with whatever it is they have you by the short and curlies  and there is nothing you can do about it  coz you didn’t  bother to read all the t’s & c,s  right  down to the bottom  , with your glasses on so you did not miss  a thing . Yes , yes I know it is a right royal pain  to waste the time to do it but boy oh boy you are in deep shit if  you are too lazy or rushed to read them , so don’t go crying into your pillow  if you get bit  , lol, coz  I did  warn you  . I know laziness is no good unless it is well carried out  but this 1 time you better not be lazy . Don’t say  you were not warned ..lol .

So who  had a nightmare and thought up this bane of our lives ? What idiot thought up this way to torment anyone or  everyone  ? Was he just someone who was having a very bad day so decided to make us all suffer too  ? Would  love to meet him boy would  I give him a dose of his t’s & c’s  back . There is nothing worse than having something  break down and when you try to  return it or get your money back ? lol You know it  , you didn’t read those dam t’s & c’s  so you get nothing . You can bet your life  right down the bottom  in a small  paragraph  is the bit you didn’t see coz you didn’t bother to read them or you missed it coz you forgot your glasses , see? it’s always your fault , never the fault of the ones who made them up  to get you with . When it comes to these you can bet  you got only a 1 in a million chance of actually getting your thing  replaced or a refund.

They get you so tied up in knots you have no idea what to do or where to go and most of the time it is a waste of time anyway , they win you lose  it’s the way they have it set up . So unless you want to get bit , start reading  !!  lol . I know if  I ever buy anything I will make hubby read em  , lol, I cant be bothered  so he can cover my bum , isn’t that what hubby’s  are for anyway  ? * snigger * So anyway …. You  lot need to learn to read all the fine print on everything always these days or you too can have the pleasure of being bit on the bum , so unless you like being bit on the bum   as  I just said  start reading !!  They have got us all  right where they want us  and  as usual it is all up to us to protect  our own bums .

I think I  am going to put those same  t’s&c’s on my bum from now on it is getting way too hard to survive these days  if you do not . Now let’s see  …where to start ??  Maybe  on if I do the  washing or not  ? or if  I cook dinner or not  ? if  I clean the house or not  ?? lol then there is the big 1 …to sex or not to sex ??  * falls over laughing *  Anyway  you can see what I mean it seems to me  that it will not be long  before we do have to add t’s&c’s  on our own  bums  to protect ourselves * slaps sticker on her own bum *  there that fixes  that …

Just for the record: My “give a damn” is busted. However, my “don’t annoy me or else” is fully functional. Any questions??

This entry was posted on July 27, 2016. 1 Comment

Laws

Laws … Have you ever stopped and counted up just how many laws there are  ? How many we have to live by and how many others that affect our lives ?  If you sit and think about just how many there are and how many we live by , try counting them all  lol and  I will almost guarantee  you will  get a headache . There  are so many  and  they are so varied and they cover so many parts of our lives  it does cause your head to spin if you  think too long on this subject . Makes me wonder just who started all these  and how they got them into our lives so well  , so well that we use them every day without  even thinking  about them and we do not even realise we are doing so  scary huh ? In a min  I will tell you just some of the ones I thought of in just a few mins  that will give you a clue  and also  make you see how easy it is to use them and not even notice it . Having said that let me say this  if for some reason  we don’t use  some of them it could get very very messy for us …

So where do we start ? Law of the land , law of the courts , law of relativity , law of science , law of space time , law of physics , law of marriage ( yeah dammit lol they make you keep these  if you for a husband or wife ) law of peace , law of war , law of medicine , law of gravity , law of the internet , there is 1 more but I will get to this in a minute , but there are enough there to give you a rough idea how many  laws we live by , and how many do affect  our lives in so many ways . Just try not using some of these laws and see how far you get  , as  I said it could get very messy if you try to live without 1 of the most important  laws i.e. gravity  , lol, what  can you even do without this law  ? Apart from falling on your face all the time  or  not even being able to get it up …errrm get up I mean  gravity surrounds us all and we all use it , have fun trying to live without it  , doubt you will get far it’s 1 of those things you tell people do not try this at home  .

Also we see daily  what happens when people do  not live by another very important law as in the law of the land , they cause so much damage to people and things it is heartbreaking  all because they live by a rule so evil all they want is you as a slave and everything you have or just everything  you have and will kill without compunction. We might not like the laws of the land but basically they are there to protect you and keep you safe  , true they  don’t always work  but mostly they do and it’s better to have some than none  and we can improve them  given time. The law of the court also sadly do not always work the right way but again  they do help and can be improved  with time  and quite often are . There is also law of physics  can you imagine what trouble you could get yourself into if you mess about  with this  ? Unless you are a person who knows physics  this is another way to get very messed up if you don’t know what you are doing  .

Now what about the other law I talked about huh ? This law is by far the most  annoying the most frustrating law ever but seems to affect everyone and everything  sometimes  much to our total disgust . What is this  law that drives people to drink ? drives them to want to punch someone ?  lol think for a minute …… got it yet  ??? Nope? ..lol

Murphy’s Law of course  !! Sheesh  did you think i forgot this 1  ? Not a chance  as it causes the most trouble  for you who don’t remember this law it   is this  ……..

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong  !! How many times  does this happen in our lives ? Lots and lots  let me tell you  , also let me tell you 1 more thing about Murphy …He was an Optimist !! … lol trust me there are times when  this is so true  it makes you so mad  you just want to hit something , and no not your hubby you’re not allowed to  * mutter *grumble* lol oh well maybe next time , but by now you see how many laws do  run our lives even if we don’t know it or want it we can do nothing about it  , so as they say suck it up and get on with it …… lol

I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!

Wait..What ?

Wait What  ? …..Would someone please tell me what just happened last weekend  ? I mean I know things get weird from time to time but this was ridiculous , making me wonder if somehow  I ended up on some other planet or something ? Weekends  can be weird at the best of times for us  but also fun  , I mean when you go out with your  hubby  and Wayne  lol well you can expect weird    but fun and games and  a lot of laughs   it is par for the course  for us  , which is why I love the weekends so much . It is really the only time we can relax  and have a little fun  and go out for dinner each night so I can have a break from cooking and dishes  and such  , so someone  please tell me  what just happened  ? Confused.com.  lol .

Well on Saturday  we went to Westfield as usual  then I went on to a pub to rest while hubby  took  the shopping home , again all normal he’s a good hubby ( at times lol )  so off I go to said pub to wait for him , he gets there then we have a couple and all is well and is normal , well normal for us  then we go to the club for dinner , again all as usual  all well and a lot of fun . The only thing funny about going to the club is the  people who serve they are a lovely bunch and make us giggle quite often  , and of course how can I forget the  driver of the bus  ? lol he is a funny man and we have a lot of giggles  as he drives us home all normal all in order , so far so good  for the weekend.So what happened next ?

So  I expect it  to be as usual Sunday,  now it gets funny  head to  pub again as this time we are off to watch UFC  which we do every time it is on ., and we have a drink in this pub first as it is quite a long walk to where we watch the  UFC . So  I had gone ahead again as usual to get sorted  and  while waiting for hubby  things started to get weird …lol…wait for it  …. 1st  a woman I didn’t know started making eyes at me , a woman I had never seen before  in my life  and as  I do not  lean that way ignored her though she did still keep doing it . So hubby had got there we had a drink then he went ahead while I rested a bit more and finished my drink , he went ahead because  Wayne was getting impatient lol he had already  got there and was waiting , as my pain was still a bit much hubby went on ahead  to let him know  I was on the way in a few more mins. That’s when it got  even more weird !! Help !!

Well now this is the bit that almost killed me with laughter , and  I could barely keep it together , as  I waked up to the bar  to leave my glass and say goodbye  to the bar lady , this bloke who had been sitting in the corner  came up to me and said ….wait for  this is  hilarious .. ” you are lovely  can we ?? ” lmao never heard the rest as  I was holding my breath trying not to burst out laughing  , all I was able to do was  put the glass on the  bar and say ” I think I better go ”  and  I shot out the door  as fast as I could . I bolted up the street  the way hubby had already gone some minutes before  as fast as I could in case he followed me  despite the pain  …lol broke the speed record  too  I think…

Well I can tell you that was the fastest I have walked that route in all the time I have been doing it  , in fact I almost caught up to hubby , he turned around as all he could  see was me at the traffic lights  giggling like a school kid   and wondering what  was going on . When the lights finally changed I shot over the road and  went to the pub we were watching  UFC  from , well Wayne was already there  and  he was at  the bar when I first got in , and  I told hubby what had happened and why I was giggling so hard  , he was  giggling as hard as  I was  when I finished  and Wayne did the same thing when I told him …

Picture this ok ? I am old, fat and ugly as  I see it  , hubby don’t see it that way  but then what men ever do see things the right way ? lol So why on earth did all this happen ? I checked and double checked my clothes that something  that shouldn’t be  showing  was maybe really showing  but nope all was in place.  So what  the crap  ? What happened to make these people  , people I had never met before  , who also had seen me with hubby  want to hit on me  ? What was going on ? Also can someone please make sure it does not happen again as my poor back cannot take me bolting like that again  .. sheesh  ..lol  Too much of this will make me wonder about the world even more , now I know the world has now gone nuts but this was too much even for me lol …..So Stoppit !!

 

If you`re texting two people at the same time,does that make you biTextual.?

Stop!

Stop! …. A very small word , but has got to be 1 of the most powerful words in all the world , it is a word that can be used in so many situations  it is hard to name them all , like the word If ..that too  is a very small word with a lot of power and also a lot of ramification . With the word stop  you can use this word for so many things  it boggles the mind , sometimes it is used to make people or things stop , and for many different reasons  , for instance a machine that has gone out of control  needs to be stopped before it hurts something or someone . stop also is used all over the world to stop traffic of all kinds, cars , boats , bikes, etc and the sign  for the word stop is the same in every country  so you always know just when to stop well, if you have half a brain you know  when to stop .

Words  have power , and we need to  learn  what they are and when to use  them  and not use them indiscriminately  to cause trouble  . The word stop is  by far the most powerful  because  if  only gets the mind working on  a question that  really has no real answer  , you know like  ” if not this then what  ? ” If we start thinking about if this and if that we can send ourselves  crazy  as the possibilities are endless , and as  I said no real answer  and if you do find an answer it really will solve nothing . To continue with the word if will really only give you more questions  than answers  , if I had  or if  I had not , too much thinking  leads to a headache  lol . yes yes  I know take a headache pill … lol

Using the word stop though  is a whole other  thing  , it is used in so many  places and for so many things  that there really is no end to  the ways you can use it , and each time you do use it , it works, there is very rarely a time when use of the word stop does not achieve something . If  it  didn’t  then we would hardly know it as a word of power , if it did not stop what it was meant to stop then  it would loose it’s power , and all those signs all over the world would be useless  . How many times do we ourselves use the word stop ? We tell the kids to stop , we tell our other half to stop if he or she is being annoying , and let’s face it if we are talking  males then they are most likely to be the ones being annoying , it’s what they do best  lol and also why we love them so much , silly women we are hey  ? lol .

Another thing about the word stop is that just on the traffic sign thing  , if they were ignored  just how many people  would be hurt or killed ? Yes  i do know too many do ignore them and too many get hurt or killed because they think they know better and try to run through the  sign , it happens way too much all over the world . That is why the sign is the same all over the world  shaped the same way and painted the same colour   so despite the language  everyone knows what it means . Still it seems that all over  the world there are people who will try  to  ignore  it , and almost always ends up in disaster  with people getting hurt or killed , and that is just  a real pity as people get hurt or killed who do not need to  if they just took notice of the word  on the sign .

Stop also is used  to stop annoying e mails and texts   from companies  trying to sell you something , it is also used  when people are doing things that they should not do , but sadly a lot of people do not stop when told too so  it is not  always going to work  but  mostly  it will . Once we recognise it as a power word  it soon works in everything it is meant to and if obeyed  will  work wonders as there would hardly be anyone who does not know what the word stop means . It is the 1 word  that  never need explaining  it is  a word  that almost by instinct  everyone seems to know and the traffic signs  have the same effect as most people always stop when they see it  no matter where they are .

 

My aunt’s ex-boyfriend’s mailman’s brother said it on Facebook so I don’t think any further research is necessary.

Stop !!! ….

 

Penguins

Penguins ….. Stop and think about these for a minute , upright little things who think the world should bow to them , and don’t they go nuts if you get in their way ? Funny little things that walk about  or is that strut about ? in their tuxedos  looking like they should be at a ball or something  , but they definitely  think you should get out of the way when they want to go somewhere  . They get quite hot under the collar or is that beak  ? lol  if you do not move out of their way  they might just start flapping those little wings at you and squarking  at you as well so best to get out of the way . Of course if you happen to just have some fish in your pocket then that’s ok you can bribe them  they are so easily bribed and then become real little sooks  , so unless you have fish , get out of the way  lol .

They are also lazy little sods  lying about  as much as they can waiting to see if fish will magically  land at their feet  and if that does not happen then they go fishing  , but they wait till all else fails  , lol, don’t blame em either  as who wouldn’t like all their meals brought to them ? I know  I would like it  lol  but only for a while as being lazy is just not me , dammit should have been born a penguin  then I wouldn’t have to do anything  but the bare minimum  to get by , pity that  lol. So all in all they are basically cheeky little sods with a huge attitude  even the smallest of them has attitude to match the size of the big ones  and the big ones ? lol just dont ever annoy them  unless you have a death wish or similar  and really  why would you ?

Penguins  come in all shapes and sizes and intelligence ( just like us lol )  some even  are a tiny bit smarter than the others , as  I know 1 that has even got a faceache  account and also a twitter account   and he knows how to use them !! lol  You should see it when he goes off on a rant or something , it is so funny to watch , maybe he just needs more fish , someone get him some please ? pretty please with sugar on top ? Can’t have an upset penguin on a rant now can we  ? lol it is not safe ..trust me  * giggles * Must admit I have had many a good giggle just watching this penguin in action on a rant in twitter  distracts me all the time from what I’m trying to  do  ( bloody penguins lol ) ..someone should take away his internet ….just for a while  till he calms  down  …lol  * smooch pengy *

This penguin  also loves to go into London with other  twits  to party , lol, know this because we have been to some of these and they are so much fun , also this penguin  is a bit weird , lol only a bit  ? but anyway is a really lovely penguin and is a lot  of fun if you can tear him off twitter where he seems to be a lot of the time , then it is time to party and always end the night with a good curry , only way to end a great night out , lol well we always did  we love our curries . Penguins can , well this 1 can   party very well and can even be seen in the middle of a London  street trying to stop a double decker bus on his own . When we stopped laughing so  much a couple of others thought it a good idea to bring him in off the road  as   we didn’t want the bus to get hurt ……..after all what did the bus do to the penguin  ? I feel sorry for the bus  … lol

As you may realise by now we do know this penguin well and we loves him even if he is nuts , and he is  crazy  when partying  but then again who isn’t ? Also  the main reason for all this is that it is his birthday !! lol even penguins  get older  so suck it up Pengy  !! lol you is getting  older even if you don’t want to ….just behave yourself and you might even get older … heh .. you ? behave  ? … nope never going to happen ….unless the moon turns purple  instead of blue …yep that’s it  ..

So  Happy Birthday Pengy !!! Huggs and smooches and may you  see lots of norks!!  lol knowing you that is almost a given  …norti Pengy ….but even so your a nice pengy .. let us just hope there are many more penguin birthdays to be had and that we will be able to be there for the next 1 that would be so much fun .. and if you came here we could show you more curry houses and more pubs in a short distance than you may have ever seen in 1 place before  we have them  all here , all very close to home , we are spoilt for choice ..Also we would love to take you on a tour of them all , what fun that would be  ….

I couldn’t ask for better friends. I could ask for normal friends, but where’s the fun in that?!

 

Paper ..

Paper  …. Have you ever noticed how full of paper our lives are these days  ? I am sure that the  bloke who invented paper never ever  expected it to infect our lives the way it does , never expected it to be in so many areas  of our lives . We have paper for this and paper for that and even paper for something we didn’t even know we needed paper for , when you think about it  there is hardly a time or place we do not need paper at some stage  , it is so funny  when you sit and think about all the paper we do use , let’s face it we cannot even go to the toilet without paper !! Lol the stuff is everywhere , everywhere you look  and even when you don’t there is  paper  it is insidious it sneaks up on you  ..trust me  ..lol ..

Take a look around you  if you are honest there is paper all over the place  , in your drawers ( lol  no not those drawers )  in your cupboard  and yes in the toilet, in the bedroom,  even in the garage  if you have a car , oh yes and even in the car  …lol see what  I mean  ? Just how much paper does 1 person use in a day  ? It is  as  I said  everywhere  , when you get up  you use it in the bathroom , then in the kitchen then in the lounge , just take a look around your  own place and you will see it,  you cannot miss it , doubt if  there is even 1 single establishment  that does not have paper everywhere  . When you do stop and look around or even just close your eyes a min , when you open them the first thing you see is most likely made of paper , lol , there is no escape from paper !!!

Then of course go out into the wide world there is even more paper , every business  you have anything to do with has mountains of paper you must fill in before you can even do business   with them  , they want to know the ins and the outs  of a duck’s B*M!  lol  before you can even contemplate  doing business  with them sheeesh …I mean just go try and open an account anywhere   and see how much paper you have to wade through  before  you can do anything , it makes  you realise  how unimportant you are compared to paper !!   they can do without you but they cannot do without paper  so what hope have we got  ? Makes you feel small when you think of how important paper is as against almost anything else , people use paper for so many things and in so many ways , what have we done that we have made just this 1 single thing  to be so important in our lives  that we all have tons of it in our lives  ?? Almost as  bad as those pesky mobile phones !! Almost I said lol those phones are way more pesky and hard to deal with that any bit of paper .

So how can we hold back the tide ? How can we  at least even slow it down ? Truth is we cannot , everyone needs it  , everyone uses it  , I cannot think of very much at all we do or have  that does not use paper somewhere  in our day ….. see ? Lol told ya we have already been taken over  by paper !! Help … lol but don’t get any matches near it or we will all be in diabolical trouble …. Paper is a lot like people  useful , helpful  but use it the wrong way and it all goes up in smoke !! People are very much like that too  lol  if you dare to upset them  they can get just as hot as a lot of paper on fire  …. At least people do cool down and get over it but paper can’t do that  , heh , we do have 1 thing over paper anyway , but as far as  I can see so far only that 1 thing …yikes ..we need to sort this out before  paper takes over completely  if it hasn’t already …. mmmm  think it has  to be honest ..

Paper  in the morning , paper in the daytime , paper at night  ..see? lol we are  in trouble  paper  has already got a hold  on us  we cannot go a whole day  or even 10 mins  without paper being needed and used ….Had to giggle when thinking about this , this morning  was not really paying attention to what hubby was saying  lol sorry dear  , but was thinking about just how much paper we do use  and how many things are made of paper and that’s  when it occurred  to me lol we have already lost this battle paper won this fight  years ago and we are just waking up to it , well I did anyway  lol .  Also seems to me that no matter how much  paper costs we still need it  , still go and buy it by the ton ( almost lol )  we are now at a stage where  we cannot escape using paper , it has us so tuned into  how much we need it  , we just keep on getting it no matter what …. Paper  1 ….People 0 ….lol ..giggles

At least it is a war that has no casualties  , no 1 got hurt in this great paper take over  , we just got slowly but surely indoctrinated  to the  ways of paper . I am not saying paper is bad  oh no never do that  , lol, we need paper too much now  and life would be way too messy  to try and live without using paper  now  and sod that for an argument  , I for 1 hate mess as it is usually me that has to clean it up …yukk …So love it or hate it we are stuck with it   and  no matter what we think Paper Wins! …. lol ..oh well could be worse  ….

 

Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” …. I said, “I am.”